Episode 251: Cycle 2.0

Outline
00:19 - Intro music interrupted by sudden loud horn noise

Intro - Chaz: A Talking Dog

05:44 - Every since I was a kid I was told how well I clean up. Whenever I put on something nice (like a suit) or a dress shirt and style my hair, I get told by people I "clean up really well". I always found this offensive. Do I look like a pile of dung before that? I'm not sure if I should take this as a compliment or an insult. -- Moderately Offended in Ohio

11:53 - Travis uses the wrong name for Chaz and the call is ended

12:45 - Y - Sent in by Ira Wray, from Yahoo Answers user tulipblushe, who asks: I need a good intro for a spelling bee speech?

I am running a spelling bee, an I would like a catchy intro to start off my speech. Any suggestions?

19:40 - Wet Stunts

21:06 - I met Jackie Chan. He's super awesome. My brother was doing a commercial in Hong Kong when he was like five, and he was the most stubborn child you could imagine. However, Jackie Chan won him over every day by bringing him a little toy. Do not worry, Jackie Chan is just as cool and kind-hearted as you imagine him to be.

24:13 - A good friend and classmate just started a new campus job as brand ambassador for a local company. We all went to the info session, but she's the only one who got super excited about it. Now all she ever talks about is this company and this job and she blows off school and friends for it constantly. How can I delicately tell her that she's driving everybody fucking crazy? -- Bored of Brands in Boise

29:55 - Powerade Break - MZ - Sponsored by Nature Box. Sponsored by Harry's. Personal message from Kristin and the Salleys. Advertisement for Wham Bam Pow.

35:24 - Chaz goes off about The Amazing Race

37:27 - Justin uses the wrong name for Chaz and the call is ended again

38:33 - Y - Sent in by Tom Harroman, from an unknown Yahoo Answers user, who asks: "What is your favorite wizard swear?"

42:54 - I have a question; I work in a cafe where customers frequently linger 30-40 minutes after we've closed. I frequently find myself sweeping and mopping around them while they pointedly ignore me and keep chatting. My boss does not allow us to directly tell them to leave, what are some good passive-aggressive ways to give them the boot? -- I Just Want To Fucking Go Home

PS, the song "Closing Time" is not on our playlist, so that's out.

46:03 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from "YaDrew Answers" user Blaze, who asks: My name is Blaze Propes. I'm 15 and a male. I wanted to know if anyone new of a better, more professional name for Blaze?

I've gone through my entire life with people asking me what's wrong with my parents? Or are your parents potheads? Or do you smoke weed?....of course I smoke weed.....I mean my name is fucking Blaze lmao

50:03 - Housekeeping
 * Recommended Maximum Fun Network podcasts: The Flop House, Judge John Hodgman, One Bad Mother, Jordan Jesse Go.

55:06 - FY - Sent in by Brian Root, from an anonymous "Yahoo Mystery" user, who asks: "What is a 'Will Smith'?"

Trivia

 * 2.0 logo by Mitch Reeter