Episode 535: Ethical Joker Termination

Outline
00:45 - Intro - Travis has gone to Space, so his portion of the intro has been pre-recorded and spliced in with the other brothers' audio.

05:10 - I want to gift a handmade oven mitt to my drug dealer for Christmas. I think oven mitts are the perfect universal gift, since everyone uses them, but I don't know what pattern of fabric to use. The only thing I know about this person is that they both sell and smoke weed. Is a marijuana print too cliché? What fabric is sure to make my dealer know that I'm chill, and I only seem sketchy when we meet 'cause I'm an anxious person? - Weed Wearing in Wisconsin

08:40 - Y - Sent in by Graham Roebuck, from an anonymous Yahoo! Answers user whom Griffin calls "Chebby", who asks: "My upstairs neighbor pretends not to be the one playing the trombone at night, what do I do? About once a week for two months now someone has been playing a trombone in our building. It came from above and was very loud so I suspected my direct upstairs neighbor. I rang his bell once in the beginning and he came to the door all 'sleepy' and 'upset' telling me it wasn't him and why now I was also not letting him sleep. I felt so sorry. But now I saw him playing it in the reflection in the window across the street. He is a stone cold liar. What could I do??"

14:50 - My wife and I recently celebrated our anniversary, which was lovely, except for one thing that I need a judgment call on. Somehow, in the planning of our celebration, it became clear to me that my wife remembered the wrong date for our anniversary. I was going to point this out, but then I remembered that this year, our actual date was taking place on top of something that I wanted to take part in virtually, so I just kinda rolled with the wrong date and we celebrated early. "No harm, no foul," right? Well, now the day is here, and we're getting cards and congratulations from relatives who have annoyingly accurate calendar reminders, and I'm not really sure what to do. Do I fess up? Do I play goalie and block the cards for the day? Do I feign getting the day wrong myself? Do we laugh at our relatives for getting the day wrong? etc. Bit of a pickle, this one. - No Way Am I Putting My Name on This

23:38 - MZ - Sponsored by Squarespace, Audible. Advertisement for Bullseye with Jesse Thorn

32:08 - Munch Squad
 * Krispy Kreme Introduces New Caramel Glaze
 * Mountain Dew Releases Cookbook
 * Mountain Dew Baja Blast Shirt

41:45 - Y - Sent in by Ben Kantt, from an anonymous Yahoo! Answers user whom Griffin calls "Jasom", who asks: "What are some ways to force hotel guests to go to a free breakfast?"

50:50 - Housekeeping

52:50 - FY - Sent in by several people, from Yahoo! Answers user Donny Onions, who asks: "In what year did Bill Grates invent Michaelsoft?"

Quotes
===On World of Warcraft Piña Colada-ing ===