Episode 303: Toot Me to Cabo

Outline
11:02 - My girlfriend and I just moved to a new city where we only know a single person. We like this person, and she has gladly welcomed us into her group of friends. The trouble is, she and her friends are all salararied software developers at big tech companies. My girlfriend and I are artists currently working hourly. We like hanging out with these people, but they often hang out at bars, restaurants, etc. that are a bit over our budget. Even game nights can get pricier than we like once we order take-out from their favorite nice places. Brothers, how do we trick our well-to-do friends into adopting our penny-pinching lifestyle? -- Not So Salaried In Seattle

19:22 - Y - Sent in by Rob Van Lipwig, from Yahoo Answers user Brak Hates Hillary Clinton, who asks: "How would you handle students who charge your son/daughter $1 each time he or she farts in class?"

28:48 - A good friend of mine has a deathly fear of alligators. She is petrified by the very thought of them. If she even sees a picture of one, she freaks out. Now, this might be a legitimate fear, except for one tiny detail: SHE LIVES IN COLORADO! There was a night when she heard a noise on her second story balcony, and she was too petrified to move because she was convinced that a gator had climbed into her balcony and was flipping around out there, trying to get in? How can I get her over this ridiculous phobia? -- Captain Hook's Best Friend In The Rockies

34:23 - MZ - Sponsored by Trunk Club. Sponsored by Blue Apron. Advertisement for Judge John Hodgman.

43:25 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from "YaDrew Answers" user Abby, who asks: Out of cheese?

The local Mexican food place was out of cheese and I want to write a letter of complaint instead of being rude? Any ideas of some gentle yet firm things I can say?

50:25 - I ride my bike to and from work every day. Although listening to the brothers McElroy passes the time, it cannot protect me from my greatest enemy. On my way to work, I ride past a small pond that is home to a particularly rude family of geeses[sic]. They recently just had babies, and although I respect their life choices, the parents have become very defensive. One goose has taken to flying after me as I ride away as fast as I can. I'm afraid they're going to bite my legs off, and I need your help. How can I learn to coexist with my feathered friends? -- Wishing I Could Fly Away Home In Wisconsin

57:30 - Housekeeping

61:05 - FY - Sent in by Steven Horchek, from Yahoo Answers user donna, who asks: "What is the national soup for USA?"