Episode 458: Race Island: A Horse Show

Outline
00:45 – Intro – Griffin is all sorts of angry at the Kentucky Derby result (Maximum Security being disqualified for bumping Country House). He accidentally agrees with a tweet sent by Our Cool President. The boys try to improve the Derby.

13:24 – I am a part-time artist, part-time nanny. I'd like to combine these talents and get money for them by offering private art classes to youth. My biggest worry is getting stuck with a kid who I have nothing in common with, or just a bummer. How do I set up a screening process to make sure I only have to teach cool kids without them or their parents realizing they are being screened? – An Awfully Awkward Artist

19:20 – Y – Sent in by Austin, from Yahoo Answers user Dave, who asks: How do I make it seem like I need protein powder for school?

My dad gave me his credit card and told me to order school supplies. I accidentally ordered over a gallon of protein powder because I had put it in my shopping cart as a joke. What school related thing can I tell my dad it's for? It was $70. 25:08 – I'm an archaeologist and I've been having the same problem for years now. People just think I dig up dinosaurs. Recently doing my master's in osteoarchaeology has just made this worse, because when I say I work with bones, they say "Oh, like dinosaurs?" How do I let people know that archaeology has nothing to do with dinosaurs, and that I dig up people, not plesiosaurs? – Fallacious in the Cretaceous

32:42 – MZ – Sponsored by Casper, Blue Apron. Advertisement for Judge John Hodgman.

36:27 – Polite Munch Squad – Krispy Kreme's Fruit-Inspired Donuts, McDonald's Worldwide Favorites

43:07 – Y – Sent in by Drew Davenport, from an anonymous Yahoo Answers user who Griffin calls Kenneth, who asks: What would surnames be if they were invented today?

If surnames weren't invented until today, what would they be? Like how many people are named after their job, would they be Johnny Vlogger, Susan Office, and so on?

50:20 – My wife and I are in my 20s. Because she doesn't ever want to physically birth a child, I got snipped, because it was like $100. The problem is, we haven't informed her parents. Obviously it's our life, but we aren't exactly holding this information secret, and don't want them to find out this information for another source besides us. How do we tell them this gently? We might adopt one day, but also, that's not a promise, so we don't want to lead with that to get their hopes up for grandchildren. – Snipped in the South

56:37 – Housekeeping

59:39 – FY – From an anonymous Yahoo Answers user who Griffin calls Diedrich Bader, who asks: "Do you eat celery in the military?"