Episode 349: Face 2 Face: Remembering How to Do Live Shows in Portland

Outline
6:10 - If I'm working as a cashier, and someone hands me their credit card, and the card has a cool picture of their family or their dog or something on it, is it cool if I just take a sec to scope it out in front of them? Is it more rude to completely ignore it after they've gone through all the trouble of getting a custom card like that? If I look, should I react and give them a thumbs up or something? Maybe I could say something like "nice family and dog!" - Not Stealing Your Credit Card Information, Just Checking Out That Cool Family And Dog In Portland

10:20 - Y - Sent in by Zoe Kinsky, from Yahoo Answers user Daaaundefined (actually Green Nuggets), who asks:

"If David Blaine and Criss Angel got into a fight? how would the fight play out? Who cares who wins. I just want to know if illusions would be used or would they just go for straight punching and hair pulling. Tell me your opinions."

15:51 - Hi, brothers! I've been having an issue ever since my boyfriend and I started cohabitating...he scares the shit out of me. Not on purpose, just when he comes home or walks into the room after taking a shower. He's tried saying "hey" as a warning or being a bit noisier unlocking the door, but I'm often cooking or listening to a podcast and usually jump from fear. Help me, brothers! What can he do to make his entrances less frightening? - Scared in Seattle

21:16 - Y - Sent in by Rachel Rosing, from Yahoo Answers user Renaldo, who asks:

"What would happen if I pinched a policeman for not wearing green today?"

25:39 - Munch Squad - Jesters' Jenny's Chicken Parmi Pie (sent in by Matt from Australia)

33:50 - This June, I'm headed to Japan for ten days, and two of the four people going with me have decided not to go after I already purchased the plane tickets. The tickets are nonrefundable, but I think if I really put in some effort, I might be able to get some back. I'm starting to think the extra space on the international flight is more valuable. Please advise! - Chase Robinson of Portland, Or

40:09 - Y - Sent in by John Thomas Mason, from Yahoo Answers user Sexy Janitor, who asks:

"Accidentally watched illegal movie? I walked in on my brother watching a movie. I had not seen this movie, so I watched it too. He told me later he downloaded it OFF OF A WEBSITE. This is illegal. How do I hide this from the police so we do not have to go to jail?"

47:48 - MZ - Sponsored by Lyft. Personal message for Kris. Personal message for Anastasia. Advertisement for Dead Pilots Society.

58:20 - Hey, I have an announcement to make. When my roommate orgasms, he yells at the top of his lungs. It's very loud and can happen at any time of the night - and day, during weekends. He does not care if anyone else is home and does nothing to mask the sound. I find his yelling a mix of hilarious, absurd, and inconsiderate. I want to get him back with something of a similar tone before we part ways and our lease ends in a few months. What should I do? - Tone Down the Bone Down in Boulder, aka Allie

Audience Questions
67:05 - Rachel Rosing announces that the Portland MBMBaMbinos have officially raised $869 for the Portland homeless

72:22 - So I have a lot of dick pics on my phone. Just over a year ago I was doing a lot of online dating. I saved them in order to send back to gentlemen who sent them to me, but also a lot of them are really funny, and there's a black and white one that never fails to make me giggle. The thing is, now I'm a year and a half into a serious, loving, and happy relationship, and I wonder, do I need to delete my dick pics? - Rachel Rosing

78:00 - I work at Chipotle. So my day starts mostly the same - I clock in, put on my apron, and then we enter this thing called "peep period" where I have to stand still in my cashier position for the next hour and I cannot leave the machine. Whenever I get exact change in complete bills, no coins, I don't just rip a big fat wet one, but several in a row. This has happened four times and there is no explanation for it. ("When you get exact change, you fart several times in a row?!" "Yes!") - Max Reyes

82:31 - For the last twelve years or so, I thought, "Hey, I'm gonna be a doctor", and I decided that's what I want to do with my life. I had this life plan, and about two weeks ago, I decided, "You know what? This isn't for me." And I gave up on this whole life plan, and it was the best decision I ever made. But my question is, I haven't really told anybody. How do I break this news to my friends? My family? - Aidan

86:59 - My students asked me to organize a prom, but I don't know how to do that. I just need some advice on how to make a really cool prom, but super safe because I don't wanna get fired. - Courtney from Vancouver

91:39 - My girlfriend lives in an apartment complex, and normally complexes are like, covered parking: reserved, uncovered parking: urr'body can have some. Her complex just decided, "we're gonna mark up a bunch of the spots", so like 75% of the place is like, you can't park. I got a little drunk one night, and some of the parking needed to happen - my girlfriend was parking - and I saw the office had put out some cones to reserve some spots when every other spot was taken. In my drunken state, I decided to throw those cones on the roof of the office. So, the cones are still up there, and this happened on inauguration night, so I was ready to fight. Should I tell the office that they're up there? Should I cut my losses and move out? I'm just making sure I'm good. - Andy

96:21 - I have a really androgynous voice. The other day when I was on a phone with a cable salesman, they were asking about the sports package I bought, and they were like, "Does your husband also listen to sports?" And I told them that I was single. Am I good? - Alex

98:37 - I have to perform my craft in front of a lot of different tourists, and I have to share the public bathrooms with all the customers that come in, and two times now I have walked in and found the bathroom doors wide open while someone was using the restroom. How do I deal with the extreme anxiety I already have in addition to going out and performing in front of people I've seen using the restroom? - Casey

102:29 - I have a coworker who is a serious know-it-all and really likes to correct people even when he's wrong. This prefaced kind of a scene, when I told someone, "This is a really dumb joke that doesn't make any sense", and then I told the joke, and five minutes later he said "That joke doesn't make any sense, and here's why." So my question is, other than trolling him by refusing to correct anything, how do I deal with this? (Also, he loves to tell people he's a vegetarian.) - Liz

107:00 - Housekeeping

109:00 - FY - Sent in by Brett Tucker, from Yahoo Answers user Special Man to the Rescue, who asks:

"Is it legal for me to name my son 'gears of war' on his birth certificate?"

Trivia

 * This is the live show that led to the inception of The McElroy Brothers Will Be In Trolls World Tour.

Deep Cuts

 * After his extended Halo riff, Griffin claims to have been possessed by the "Zuul" of working in the video games industry for a decade. Zuul is a reference to Ghostbusters.