Episode 359: Tumnus Opportunities

Outline
7:02 - About a year ago, I went to a party at my friend's new place. During the event, I walked straight through the screen door. About twenty minutes later, another party-goer did the exact same thing, and the door was ruined. Now, one year later, my friend's roommate is asking me to pay for the replacement of the door as they move out. What should I do? I caused the damage, but so did the other guy. Isn't this past the statute of limitations? -- Egregious Door Smasher in Everett, Washington

11:10 - Y - Sent in by Seth Carlson, from Yahoo Answers user xaing9, who asks: I thought Obama was supposed to make the commercials on TV be the same volume as the shows. What happened to this?

Commercials are still like twice as loud as shows. To me, this makes him a "Lame Duck" President.

18:05 - I park about fifteen minutes away from work, but I don't mind, because it's a nice walk through the field. Last week, I saw a teen planting a five foot conifer. When we made eye-contact, he got rather weird, and hid around the side of it. You gotta help me through this. I walk past him every day now, and I don't know why he hid. Ideas? -- Confused about the Conifer

22:22 - Haunted Doll Watch

28:26 - MZ - Sponsored by MeUndies. Advertisement for Reading Glasses.

35:01 - Y - Sent in by "like 6 people", from an anonymous Yahoo Answers user (named "Janet", by Griffin), who asks: How do you avoid getting water up your rear when going on certain water slides?

Update: Like the really steep fast ones with lots of water pressure

44:05 - I'm a senior in high school. Recently, my class has been pretty lame with the pranks. So, the other night, I gathered up some friends and decided to fork the football field. And that's stick plastic forks in it to spell some stuff, or just be a nuisance. We were doing well for about an hour before several cop cars pulled up and we had to drop everything and run. I managed to escape, but I left my sister's backpack behind. I was using it to carry extra forks. It's definitely been confiscated by now, but she doesn't know I used it. Should I turn myself in and get her backpack back, or should I be just the worst and pretend I don't know where it went? I risk being charged with trespassing, because I was on school grounds at 1 AM and ran from cops. -- Perplexed Prankster

PS: I managed to write "Zag on 'em" before we were chased off.

49:50 - Y - Sent in by Amelia Burger, from Yahoo Answers user kevinzak, who asks: "How do we make apple juice more relevant to adult consumers?"

50:03 - Y - Sent in by Maddy Tailor [spelling?], from Yahoo Answers user Gary The Human Being, who asks: Would you like to go completely Gary-Free?



57:51 - Housekeeping

1:00:39 - FY - Sent in by Amelia Burger, from Yahoo Answers user Cee, who asks: "Don't horses deserve horse-shaped coffins?"