Episode 372: Face 2 Face: Sock-Based Target Crimes

Outline
04:25 - Are you supposed to tip Christmas carolers?

09:17 - Y - Sent in by Rose Farlow, from Yahoo! Answers user Dravidundefined, who asks: How can I get the poltergeists in my house to understand that they don't scare me, and nothing they can do will drive me away?

I moved into my house two months ago and they've been at it nonstop. Nothing that some earplugs can't fix, even though they try to take them out sometimes while I sleep, and I can handle a few objects being chucked my way from time to time. The fact of the matter is that as a living being with a physical presence, I am stronger and more powerful than they are one hundred fold. The house belongs to me, and THEY belong to me. There's a new sheriff in town, and they might as well just cross over, because their reign of terror in this old house is OVER! How can I get them to cross over, or at least realize their attempts to drive me out are futile and they might as well just shut up?

14:12 - I work in a library. A few weeks ago, my library was chicken-winged and hot-dogged throughout the building, meaning some wasteful scoundrels left them all over the library. On tables, on bookshelves, even hanging from a hook above the travel book section. We aren't sure who did it, but the people we think did do it were adults, not shenanigan-pulling teens doing some sort of senior prank. Was it a crime of opportunity, or one of premeditation? How do we get revenge? - Snack Attacked

22:42 - Y - Sent in by Basil Buterbaugh, from Yahoo! Answers user Dravid, Alsoundefined, who asks: I dream of bathrooms?

I dream of a bathrooms like every other dream. Nothing happens in there. It's just me checking out different kinds of bathrooms. Big bathrooms, small bathrooms, Hospital bathrooms, old rusty bathrooms, public bathrooms, bathrooms with fish swimming in the toilets, Bathrooms with five tiolets too a stall. Whats the deal With this? I have an obsession with dreaming about bathrooms. Every bathroom is unique but nothing ever happens.

27:32 - When I was younger, my mom rented a horse for my B-day party because I enjoyed My Little Pony at the time. My friends think it's hysterical because I hate horses and joke about getting one for my B-day later this month. I'm terrified they might actually go through with it. How do I let them know I'm not joking about not wanting another horse near me without instigating them? - Jade from Boston

32:16 - Y - Sent in by Katherine Parkinson, from Yahoo! Answers user Dravid Has Been Busyundefined, who asks: What do you call the middle part of the pizza? Urgent.?

We ve got that good good crust, but what is the part that is NOT on the edge of the pizza?

37:47 - I love my friend, but a few weeks ago, I was in Target with her, and she removed ALL her feet coverings - both her shoes and socks - to try on a pair of socks that she had taken out of a package hanging on the wall. I guess they didn't fit, 'cause she put them back in the bag and proceeded to walk barefoot through the sock aisles looking for another pair to try. My question is, how do I forget I ever, ever saw this? Am I overreacting? Why did she do this? Help! - Mortified in a Major Way in Massachusetts

42:20 - Munch Squad (with extended intro): Yogurtland Chocolate & Vanilla Ice Cream

54:18 - MZ - Sponsored by Squarespace, Stamps.com. Personal message for Kaitlyn Peterson. Personal message for Will and Allison. Advertisement for Dead Pilots Society.

Audience Questions
59:21 - My friend eats cereal wrong. She puts cereal in one bowl, and then she puts milk in the other, and then she takes the milk in the spoon and sprinkles some cereal in the spoon and eats it. How do I fix this? - Nico

65:55 - I look very young. I have been told that I'm not allowed to buy a lottery ticket, and it's not especially helpful when, say, I'm at Pride and trying to talk to girls. So how do I portray myself as an older person? - Anna

70:00 - A couple of months ago, for my boyfriend's birthday, I made a terrible mistake and made him a Danny DeVito papier-mache bust. I spent a lot of time with it making it, and his unblinking eyes terrify me, and it really gives off a negative energy, and he has it like right when you walk into his place. How do I get over my fear of this paper man? - Lauren

74:20 - I ride a lot of Ubers to get back and forth to school, and I tend to get a little creative when people talk to me, and I kind of make up a story about what I'm doing that day to make it more interesting. I got into my last Uber last week, and the guy was telling me how he was friends with a lot of the other Uber drivers in that area. Should I continue this fun little storytelling habit, or...? - Sarah

77:50 - I'm a college student. I live with some suitemates this year, and as a fun little joke, I found this toddler's bike in one of the trash rooms in my dorm, and I put it under someone's bed. I thought it'd be really funny to just leave it there and throw it out later, but now it's become a part of where we live. We live in a very small dorm, so there's not much space. How do I get rid of it? - Charlie

82:38 - Housekeeping

83:43 - FY - Sent in by Seth Carlson, from Yahoo! Answers user Curtis, who asks: "If you die on an operating table but come back to life is your birthday changed?"

Trivia

 * The next episode to be released, Episode 373, was recorded on the same night as this show.