Episode 288: Shuriken Dip

Outline
08:55 - I like to sleep in my blue jeans. My wife thinks I'm a total monster, but there's no greater comfort than the feeling of denim rubbing against my sheets. I work in a cube all day, so it's not like my jeans are dirty. Sometimes I get a fresh pair from the closet to sleep in - my sleep jeans. Please vindicate or vilify me. -- Stylish Slumber In the South

16:20 - Y - Sent in by Rachel Rosing, from an Anonymous Yahoo Answers user, who asks: Am i TOO powerful?

My mum just recently signed me up for Krav maga lessons. My instructor says im accelerating at an unimaginable rate. What im trying to say is, what if i become a human weapon, and im not allowed out in public?

22:09 - My cube mate whispers to herself constantly. Sometimes she's reading out loud to herself, sometimes she's talking to herself, sometimes I can't tell what she's saying but I hear the whispers. This is hella distracting because I'm pretty down with ASMR and I can't get any work done while I'm in the tingle zone. Any ideas on how to address this? -- Huh? In Houston

28:29 - MZ - Sponsored by Nature Box. Personal message from Matt. Personal message from Jesse. Advertisement for Pop Rocket.

37:07 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from Yahoo Answers user Devon, who asks: "If you put Mountain Dew in a purifier would you get water or Mountain Dew?"

37:13 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from Yahoo Answers user Sal, who asks: "Every time I go to lick a stamp I really want to gently kiss it instead. Is this OK?"

37:24 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from Yahoo Answers user "Bernard", who asks: Big hands ?????????????

When do I start getting big hands? Im 18 years old when do I start getting bigger hands.

48:47 - I live with my fiancé, and although I have my own laptop, we share his desktop for gaming. He's a bit messy in real life, but that I can deal with. His computer is an issue because he saves his porn to the desktop. Playing TF2 in window mode with some asses staring right back is unsettling, I assure you. I've asked him to sort it, and he just laughs. It's not a deal breaker, it's just weird. Do I learn to deal with it, or do I sort it myself for his upcoming birthday? -- There's No Porn Pun I Can Make About Eugene Oregon

54:00 - Housekeeping
 * Recommended Maximum Fun Network podcasts: Stop Podcasting Yourself, Can I Pet Your Dog, One Bad Mother

59:23 - FY - Sent in by Brooks Oglesby, from Yahoo Answers user Rollie H, who asks: "Feminists, are you impressed that David Blaine held his breath for 17 minutes on Oprah?"

Deep Cuts

 * The brothers once again refer to the best Jumbotron message they ever received, as originally read in Episode 209: BurgerTime 4: Ketchup.