Episode 469: Face 2 Face: The DEEP Pepperoni

Outline
00:45 - Intro - The boys critique their dad's stage performance and discuss pooping on a tour bus.

05:52 - Riddle Me Piss, sent in by Riddle Rat in Regina, from The Little Giant Book of Brain Twisters "A man sat perfectly still for 88 hours. Why? The man had a nasty toothache and he went to the dentist at 5 p.m. on a Friday evening. The dentist's assistants, including the anesthetists, had all gone and the dentist could not administer any anesthetic. The man insisted that the dentist should operate even without anesthetic, so the dentist said that he would have to strap the man into the chair. This was done. The dentist then suffered a fatal heart attack and died. The poor man was left strapped in the chair and unable to move. It was a holiday, and no staff reported for work until 9 a.m. on the following Tuesday morning, 88 hours later."

09:22 - I'm an art education major at Indiana State University. I had to take a drawing class, mainly one that focuses on the human form. Our class could only get one model, and so we had to draw the same guy twice a week for the entire semester. I have drawn this guy 86 times, and have him just lying around my room. They're all huge pieces, like, four feet tall. As a lesbian with no interest in men, what should I do with them? I don't want to throw them out. - Abby

13:10 - Y - Sent in by Jim, from Yahoo! Answers user Aaron, who asks: "My mom grounded me for eating my pudding before my sandwich, what can I do to get out of this mess?"

16:00 - We are parents of 20-month-old twins, a boy and a girl, and for the most part, we haven't done a completely terrible job of raising them. They only steal from each other in polite ways, and when they yell in public, it mostly seems cute, but they're getting old enough that soon they will understand the concept of age, so do we ever tell them who was born first, or do we leave it a mystery? - J and E

18:42 - Y - Sent in by Colin, from Yahoo! Answers user Zora N., who asks: "What are other uses for pepperoni?"

22:11 - I work at a theater. During my breaks I get a chicken burger that the kitchen guy graciously puts two patties on, though he's not supposed to. However, three times in a row now, he has forgotten pickles. I desperately need some of that vinegared veg in my sandwich or else it is too dry to bear. Should I be grateful for the extra protein, or do I tell him he forgot the pickles? - Double and Nothing

28:49 - Y - Sent in by Nick K, from Yahoo! Answers user Toddbus, who asks:"Are clouds alive? READ MY OPINION AND COMMENT ON IT? Did you know why I believe clouds to be alive? They possess all the characteristics of organisms. Clouds are organized in the sky they are white round flat or another shape. Metabolism, they absorb water vapor and grow. Adaptation, they adapt their shape to weather conditions. Response to stimuli, they have their water drops freezing at high altitudes. Reproduction, they break into smaller clouds when the wind is too strong. Clouds 'eat' water vapors from the atmosphere and reproduce by division like bacteria. Although I do not see them as complex forms of life I believe they are unicellular organisms with water as the genetic material and air as the cytoplasm."

32:53 - I live directly across the street, like a 30-second walk out my front door, from a public park that has a splash pad, which is a big area with things that spray and dump water. I have a sizable lawn that takes about two hours to mow and trim. After a few hours laboring in my yard, I really want to walk over and cool down. Here's the problem: it's almost exclusively frequented by kids ten and under. Is there any way my big, sweaty, childless 30-year-old ass can enjoy a few minutes at this neighborhood oasis without looking like a creep? - Hot as Hell in Huntington, Indiana

37:34 - Haunted Doll Watch - Elsaneth

47:09 - MZ - Sponsored by Stitch Fix, Boll & Branch. Advertisement for The Greatest Generation.

Audience Questions
51:49 - I just moved to Indiana and I'm not really familiar with the traditions here. My neighbor, a delightful man, likes to throw old pieces of pizza into his backyard, donuts, bread, and tortilla chips. The issue is that my dogs run over and eat them, and a few weeks ago there was a possum eating all of the pizza and I had to fight it. It's attracting coyotes, too, which is a problem because the coyotes killed my neighbor's ducks and left a head on my lawn. - Annalise

56:16 - My dad has a terrible vape rig. How can I fix it? Happy Father's Day, Dad. One, it's five or six years old, and two, it's very beat up. - Grayson

59:43 - Almost a month ago to the day on my birthday, my car was stolen right in front of my apartment complex. How, besides putting jelly under the handle, would I make my car less attractive to thieves? - Brandon

1:03:47 - I work in an adult novelty store, I sell dildos and vibrators, and how do I ask people politely to not laugh at the 17-inch dildos that we sell? They're called the Dick Rambone. We also sell a product called the 24-Inch Anal Snake as well. - Sean

1:08:38 - Housekeeping

1:10:25 - FY - Sent in by a lot of people, from Yahoo! Answers user Jrrrrsh, who asks: "At what age should I lose my vinegar?"