Episode 218: Kelly Rrrrrrripa

Outline
05:38 - Hello brothers. Remember when Olive Garden had their never-ending pasta pass promotion, and you could pay a hundred dollars for seven weeks of free pasta, and you did it as a goof, because they were only selling a thousand, and you thought it would be kind of prestigious and also kind of funny. Well, life called your bluff and you actually received the past pass this week (I did), and I don't know what to do with it now. It's literally just sitting here in my hand, and I'm turning it over like a loaded gun. -- What Do I Do In West Virginia

12:52 - Is it weird to buy toilet paper in bulk? My husband refuses to buy or be seen with me when I buy toilet paper because I prefer to buy a 24-pack instead of a 4- or 6-pack, because it's cheaper and something we'll always (I assume) need. My husband is very embarrassed by my large toilet paper purchases, and believes other people judge us and find us weird for the large purchase. Is it a legitimate concern? Is it worth sacrificing the extra dollars and time I'll spend shopping more regularly for TP to avoid having other people think I must poop a lot. -- Cabinets Full Of Toilet Paper In Durham

19:48 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from "YaDrew Nights Mystery" user Ariana, who asks: How do teacher hugs feel?

I want no hate or side comments whatsoever. Only answer my question or I will thumbs down your answer and report it. How does a teacher hug feel? Like a 3 second hug? Be descriptive please

25:37 - I live in an apartment with a shared coin-operated laundry unit. The washing machine takes forty minutes, the dryer takes one hour. I know this because if you don't set timers and come and get your laundry nice and quick, an unknown assailant steals it. You come back a couple hours later, and the clothes aren't on the floor, in the sink, or even in the garbage - they're just gone. Other residents have complained about the same thing and having bleach thrown on their drying towels. Help, brothers! What can I do to bring this fool to justice and protect my stuff? It's happened three times now, and I'm very low on underwear. -- Got Done Down Under

31:59 - MZ - Sponsored by Hulu. Sponsored by Nature Box. Sponsored by Lovecraft Brewing Company. Personal message from Nick.

43:45 - My girlfriend and I had our first child last April. Everything has been great, but with Halloween approaching we have hit an impasse. My girlfriend is excited to dress her up, take her trick-or-treating, and has already picked her costume. I, on the other hand, think that because we will be picking the costume, dressing her in it, carrying her house to house, saying "trick or treat" for her, and ultimately eating the candy ourselves, she's too young. Are we going to look like adults who have an excuse to pawn free candy, yes, or am I over-thinking this and depriving my daughter and girlfriend of some good memories? -- Costume Conundrum In Cincinnati

49:10 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from "YaDrew Nights" user Verde, who asks: Neighbors bong rips keep waking me up at 6:00 am?

My neighbor works early in the morning, and he prefers to smoke weed before work. My unit is connected to the same building and I wake up to coughing every day. Its so ridiculous.

Would he be offended if I told the guy to keep it down in the morning or should I buy the guy better weed or something? it sounds like he is dying over there sometimes.

55:05 - Housekeeping
 * Recommended Maximum Fun Network podcasts: The Goosedown

65:02 - FY - Sent in by M Dean, from a suspended "Yahoo Nights Mysteries" user, who asks: "Can anybody give me an emo boys myspace?"