Episode 479: Face 2 Face: A Spectral, Horny Build-A-Bear

Outline
00:45 - Intro - Hair metal hits of the 80s.

04:15 - Justin tells two jokes his daughter Charlie wrote:
 * What did one watch say to the other watch? "Watch ya up to?"
 * What did one banana say to the other banana? "That was an ap-peel-ing joke."

6:04 - Y - Sent in by Paul Sabourin, from Yahoo Answers user Squidgism, who asks: "Cavemen ghosts? why does no one ever speak about ghosts of cavemen? you always here people say that they saw a young victorian woman or old ladies or soldiers. you never hear anyone say 'did anyone see that big hairy man/woman!'. just wondered if anyone had any thoughts about this strange, random but oh so true question......"

11:44 - Do you think I can swap out my usual lunchtime La Croix for a White Claw and not get caught? The ladies in my office are pretty chill and/or may not even know I'm crushing a cold one. Please advise before I go buy a case. - Sneaky Seltzer Social Worker

15:06 - Y - Sent in by Sid Ross, from Yahoo Answers user alex, who asks: If the owner of restaurant points at your lasagne& asks “ how is it?” To show the table next to you, and u say “ good”,then he goes?

“No you should say “ very Good!” ... and the table next to you who haven’t ordered yet are waiting your response, so you say under duress “ very good!” Even though it’s not, would you feel bullied?

The owner doesn’t even smile at you after, but the table next to you are laughing.

What if I said the truth, “ last week it was much better to be honest” or something like that?

Why did I feel under pressure to say his average lasagne was “ very good!”

Was I a weak fool?

18:22 - The other day I was sitting at a red light with my windows down and I heard the person in the car next to me sneeze. Should I have said "bless you"? I say "bless you" to everyone I can because it's polite, but I don't know the protocol here and I still feel guilty about it. - Gridlock Gesundheit

21:31 - Y - Sent in by several people, from Yahoo Answers user Jasten, who asks: My teacher is having me keep a lemon on me for the next month, what is he trying to teach me?

So, in my class my teacher is having us keep a lemon with us. He says not to put it in the fridge, not to leave it in the car or it ll get icky, just to keep it on our person. He says that we may or may not understand what it means. He showed us his extremely hard lemon he has kept for 20 years. Any ideas on what this lemon is suppose to mean?

25:09 - I am good friends with my manager. One of the things we do together is check out the local rib fests near our workplace and go after work. We have planned to go to the upcoming rib fest in Waterloo, Ontario, but it turned out my manager forgot he had a wedding to go to later that day. I suggested he could still come and take the ribs to go. Brothers, can you bring your own food to a wedding? If so, are ribs okay? - Just Marrinated

29:18 - Haunted Doll Watch - Female Spirit Companion Seduction Pendant

34:50 - Paul Sabourin Does Munch Squad Special Update Edition - Paul brings the boys and some of the audience the KFC Donut Chicken Sandwich.
 * Griffin's review: "It is like eating a sand dune."
 * Travis's review: "That is by far the blandest donut."
 * Justin's review: "Paul, I am going to need more white wine, my dude. You're also fired....In short, not delicious."

40:13 - Farm Wisdom
 * White cows are bad luck.
 * If it rains on Easter Sunday it'll rain for seven Sundays.
 * Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
 * A dream told before breakfast will come true.
 * If you sweep under the bed of a sick person, that person will never regain his strength.

41:54 - MZ - Sponsored by Quip, Blue Apron. Advertisement for Tights and Fights.

Audience Questions
47:03 - I work in a hipster independent bookstore/coffee shop/cafe/restaurant dealio, and our menu prides themselves on having a lot of vegan options, and one option is a "spicy five-bean vegan chili". First of all, I don't think it's especially spicy, but I also don't think there are five different beans in it. Two of the supposed five beans are light red kidney beans and dark red kidney beans, and one is a great northern bean which I think we have maybe one time out of every twenty when the chili is made, so I think we're looking at 3.5 beans at best. And last of all, I don't think it's chili. Every time, someone's like "oh, it's getting real thick, we need to add some water to it." How do I break it to my employers that maybe they're falsely advertising this three-bean soup, and how do I look a customer in the eye when they go "is the chili good" and I'm like "hmmmm"? - Emily

51:47 - I have a friend who's a drummer, and he wants to start a band with me because he likes the things I can do with my voice as far as singing goes. He kind of gave me free range on what the genre could be, and I am a big fan of ska punk. We've got most of the components coming together, and my roommate plays the trumpet. I asked her, I'm like, "would you ever want to do this thing?" and unfortunately she does not share the same love of ska as I do. What would be a good way to convince her to play a trumpet in a possible ska band? - Corey

55:47 - I'm a professor of computer science here at Carnegie Mellon. Every week I have to make up tests and homeworks and things, and every week I get emails from the students with excuses about why they can't do it, and they ask me, "Can I take it later?" I can think of three strategies: always say yes, always say no, or drill down on the excuse to see if it's bullshit or not. What do you think I should do? - Ryan

1:00:49 - Recently, I've been binge-watching Survivor, and my new life goal is to be on Survivor. What should I put on my audition tape? - Megan

1:05:14 - I just started a job a month ago working for the parks as sort of a mini park ranger. All my parks are just a couple acres. During training, my boss showed me all the things to do, and one of the things is to get the dirty old leaves out of the way, and he showed me a huge gas-powered leaf blower. The way my boss said it was he just turned it on and went to town and everyone just sort of cleared out because they didn't want to get leaves blown on them. How can I politely tell people to stop eating their lunch and stuff while I clean leaves off of all the benches? - Nick

1:09:49 - I'm the mayor of my town - Butler, just a little north of Pittsburgh. It's not as cool as it sounds, I promise. I own a couple of establishments where I sometimes bartend, and I also enjoy myself with my family around town, but my problem is that often times people keep walking up to me and saying "hey, aren't you the mayor?" I've run out of things to tell them. I've tried saying "yes" but they don't have a follow-up. I've tried saying "sometimes, but not right now". - Ben

1:13:47 - Housekeeping + a warning about the donuts

1:15:47 - FY - Sent in by Graham Roebuck, from Yahoo Answers user Molly, who asks:"Is it possible, that rain is Mars Juice?! I know they found water on Mars, so i thought that bc Mars is above us, that rian comes from Mars!?"