Episode 252: Face 2 Face: Sock Detectives

Outline
01:00 - Intro - Justin pooped his pants on his way to the show.

04:40 - Chicago has a long history of impressively manly moustaches a la Mike Ditka. There is a certain amount of authority that comes with some thick Tom Selleck lip foliage. What, as a lady, can I develop as a feature that gives me that instant authority? -- Number One Haunted Doll Watch Fan

08:18 - Y - Sent in by Ira Wray, from an unknown Yahoo Answers user, who asks: "Any ideas for a sexy tongue trick? At parties girls will tie knots in cherry stems and the guys think it's hot, I can do it too but I wanted to know if there are other tricks like the cherry stem one that I can do to impress everyone"

12:04 - There is a girl in one of my classes who cuts her fingernails during literally every class. It's a small class, only twelve people, and we sit around one big square table, across from which I can clearly watch her cutting her nails every day twice a week. We're talking full-out nail clippers, little pieces of fingernail flying across the table, clicking noises, the whole deal. This doesn't seem to be bothering anyone else, but it's awful, right? Am I insane? And if not, the bigger question at hand is how do I stop this monster without making it awkward? -- Confrontation Clippings In Chicago

15:48 - Y - Sent in by Rachel Near, from Yahoo Answers user Violetta, who asks: "What does it mean when a guy texts a girl a sad-wink emoticon? We havent spoken in a while and he text me I said I was sorry for not talking to him I had a lot of problems going on and he just text back with a :( face I dont know how to reply to him? Update: I cant see him because we live far away from each other"

17:47 - Haunted Doll Watch

25:04 - MZ - Sponsored by SquareSpace. Personal message from Frank. Personal message from Daniel.

30:30 - I live with two other people (one guy, one girl), and I think my roommates are in love with each other. They fall asleep next to each other on the couch every night, and will talk on the phone for hours when one of them isn't home. One of them told me they were attracted to the other when they were drunk. They seem totally incompatible, but they're great roommates. Should I try to get in the way of their love so they don't mess up the vibes for the three of us? -- Thinking About Cock-Blocking In Chicago

P.S. I just found out the guy's the virgin.

33:55 - Y - Sent in by Zoe Kinsky, from Yahoo Answers user Julia M, who asks: "Does insurance pay for ripping your butt open? So I had this classmate rip her butt open because she twerked so hard and fell and then ripped it. (I know right) I was just wondering if Obamacare pays for stitches everywhere. Even in your butt. Its an interesting discussion my friends and I had. This is a true story. Its really funny, but seriously would she be able to be covered even though she literally twerked her a$ open."

37:01 - One of my local brunch spots offers a fixed-price menu (approximately thirty dollars per person) which includes unlimited coffee and mini donuts. In order to optimize this financial investment, I like to bring a gallon zip lock bag and stealthily slip donuts into my purse. I feel that I am paying for this food, and if it is truly unlimited then absconding these pastries is morally sound, but I can't help feeling guilty, and I avoid eye contact with anyone in my immediate proximity. Am I good? -- Donut Purse

42:42 - Y - Sent in by Rachel Spurling, from Yahoo Answers user Alicia, who asks: "How do I answer to prom Joker style? (Dark Knight)? Boyfriend asked me dark knight related I need to answer in same theme! Help"

Audience Questions
46:37 - My boyfriend orders chicken tenders at every restaurant we go to. How can I make him more adventurous? -- Tina

50:00 - My cat is a jerk to my girlfriend's cat, and I feel like I have to choose between my cat and my girlfriend. -- Matt

52:00 - I would say I have a lot of good friends, and we get along and we have a great time, but it's always me doing the inviting. This is some messed up etiquette in my opinion. If I don't ask, it doesn't happen, and so I'll wait and I'll wait for an invitation, and then it has to be me. Am I crazy here, or...? -- Abby

54:45 - So I recently went on a date with somebody, and that next morning when it came time for her to leave we realized we could not find one of her socks. That was about two weeks ago, and I've spent the last two weeks receiving text messages from her, asking, "where's my sock?" Yesterday in my laundry I found the sock. How do I get the sock back to her without, you know... -- Bobby

57:33 - Housekeeping

60:20 - FY - Sent in by Bill Andrews, from Yahoo Answers user Jerry Weiland, who asks: "Will there be reggae in the future ?"