Episode 341: An Erotic Balloon Puzzle

Outline
12:32 - I'm a huge Space Jam fan, and for Christmas my friend ordered me a Space Jam Michael Jordan jersey. However, he lives across our big-ass state and while the jersey was supposed to arrive while I was visiting, it didn't. He said he will mail it to me when it arrives, but now it's February and still no Space Jam jersey. I really want this jersey. So, how do I ask him the status of my Christmas gift without sounding like a greedy asshole? -- Hannah from Texas

16:28 - Y - Sent in by Rachel Rosing, from Yahoo Answers user Jorban, who asks: "Why do most butlers came from England ?"

25:43 - I was just informed a woman I know is throwing a "play party," aka a swinger sex party, and I was not invited. There does not exist a reality in which I'd actually want to go to this party. However, she invited several of my friends, and I didn't make the cut, and I'm left wondering if this is because she views me as an introverted, awkward prude and not the potentially sexy, fun-loving lady that I am. How can I better exude an "invite me to your orgy, I don't want to go" vibe without being a creepy weirdo? -- Brooding On The Bacchanalia Blacklist

32:25 - MZ - Sponsored by ProFlowers, Sponsored by Casper, Advertisement for Very Very Fun Day

39:23 - Y - Sent in by Morgan Davy, from Yahoo Answers user Lisa R., who asks: "What's a good argument to convince my parents to let me have two horses? Hello, I've been dreading the conversation convincing my parents to allow me to get another horse. Right now I have a horse that I was going to use for barrel racing but turned out to be better at western pleasure, and I have gotten very attached to this horse. Anyways so now I'd like to add a new speed horse and do not know how to come about this conversation with my parents. I feel like their main argument point will be 'why do you need two horses?' Please help me!"

46:19 - The other day, in my Intro to Criminal Justice class, a student took out a whole lemon and started to peel it, and then he asked me for the time. So I told him, and he went "Oh, okay" in a sad tone of voice and put his partially peeled lemon back into his bag, almost ashamed of his actions. My question is this: what should I do if this situation comes up again? What is the code word that I can use, so I can get this man to enjoy his lemon in class? I think he's some kind of citrus sleeper agent, and I need advice. -- Confused in Citrusy New Concord

51:53 - My office puts a thousand piece puzzle in the break room for everyone to work on. When finished, a picture of the puzzle is taken, displayed, and a new puzzle is put out. Although people work on the puzzles, I'm always the one who completes them. Am I good, or should I let someone else know the sweet satisfaction of putting in that final piece? -- Puzzled in Cleveland, Ohio

61:09 - FY - Sent in by Dana Scarborough, from Yahoo Answers user c, who asks: "Are flautists capable of expelling poison darts from a flute?"