Episode 212: Turn Downton for What

Outline
03:42 - The DM for my Pathfinder group is hitting on me very aggressively. I'm not interested for a few of reasons, the least of which being her track record in dating. The worst is that she was recently dating another member of our pathfinder group. How do I let her down and not get killed off in our next glorious adventure? -- Dungeons And Dragons And Why Is Your Hand On My Thigh

11:03 - Y - Sent in by Troy Hofmockel, from a suspended Yahoo Answers user, who asks: Could an octopus fire a handgun?

If an octopus could understand a handgun's function, and this handgun could work underwater, would the octopus have sufficient strength and motor control in a tentacle to hold, aim, and fire? Assume a gun with mass of ~1.5 lbs (~0.7 kg), and any sort of octopus you like.

Bonus marks: Would it be strong enough to do so above water?

16:13 - My high school was a small private college prep and pretty close-knit (about a hundred people per class). We have a big alumni program. My first five-year class reunion is coming up. Of course, I want to show off my success in the business world, but I don't want to look like a total prick. The high school was very strict with uniforms and dress codes, so should my attire be more professional? I need your help, brothers! -- Jaded In Jacksonville

20:38 - Whenever I get mad or angry, my nose runs. I start sniffling, and snots want to run all over my face. For those who know me it's a dead giveaway (especially the missus). It sucks when I'm arguing, because my wife and friends know the moment I get pissed by my snorting. Even when I try to blow off the offense, I still snort, so even though I try to let things drop, the boogie-stream lets everyone know that I'm mad. What kind of husband can I be to my wife if I can't hide my emotions from her. If you are at a loss, maybe Sydnee can help.

24:39 - MZ - Sponsored by Nature Box. Sponsored by One Month. Sponsored by Tome-Foolery. Sponsored by The Bunker. Advertisement for Jordan Jesse Go.

33:33 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from Yahoo Answers user Uncle Danny Smells, who asks: "How do I eat a Mr Whippy in public without looking like a nutcase?"

42:10 - Brothers, if you have a drink with you but you need to go to the restroom and have no one to watch your drink for you, what do you do with the drink? If it's not in a resealable bottle, bringing the drink with you seems gross, and if there's a lot left, then chugging it seems like a waste. -- Perplexed And Pissing

45:51 - Y - Sent in by Cameron Ogier, from Yahoo Answers user 'A' Jiao, who asks: How can I become an aristocrat?

I'm spellbound by the culture, history and essence of the British aristocracy, particularly by the English aristocrats of deepest Yorkshire, with their magnificent rolling estates and majestic country houses, towering stallions and grand dinner parties. I want to be an aristocrat. I've spent some time visiting country houses, cathedrals, abbeys and historical monuments rooted in the heritage and culture of the old England, and I think that in order for me to fully absorb the essence of British heritage, I must become an aristocrat. I want my own beautiful estate, my own gorgeous old country house with luxurious drawing rooms and paintings of kings, queens, nobles and personalities of the British chivalry. I want to be a part of this world.

52:34 - Housekeeping
 * Recommended Maximum Fun Network podcasts: Jordan Jesse Go, Judge John Hodgman, Throwing Shade, Stop Podcasting Yourself, Lady To Lady, The Goosedown, Sawbones

55:57 - FY - Sent in by Ira Wray, from Yahoo Answers user snowbunny_luv_420, who asks: "Did Kenny Rogers change his name to Kenny Loggins?"

Trivia

 * Griffin suggests starting an MBMBaM Dungeons and Dragons game, which comes to fruition less than two weeks later as The Adventure Zone.