Episode 459: Face 2 Face: You Know, Like Eggs?

Outline
00:45 – Intro – The crowd is very very loud. The brothers are BLOWN away at Salt Lake City's beauty. Justin had to go way too far for 4% beer.

04:38 – Riddle Me Piss "What has wings, but cannot fly, legs, but cannot walk, and eyes, but cannot see? A dead bird"

07:08 – Y– Sent in by Graham Roebuck, from Yahoo! Answers user Bilbo, who asks: "is a restaurant a store? tecnically speaking Update: O.K. well, to clear things up whenever my family is going to olive garden we say 'I'm going to the store'. I said this the other day and my friend looked at me weird whan I said that I was excited to eat the breadsticks. I think that technicaly a restaraunt because they have stock (food) and you give them money (dollars)"

11:02 – I am a chef at a casual fine dining restaurant. It is a pretty good job, but it's a lot of work. How can I continue to be a chef, but do less work, or even no work? The restaurant is at a ski lodge, and all the employees live in the building, if that helps (it doesn't).–Sam, who isn't even trying to cloak their shit

15:17 – Y Jr.–Sent in by Jack, from Yahoo! Answers user Bonobos, who asks: "What kind of facial hair is good for a writer/poet?"

16:26 – Y–Sent in by Sean, from Yahoo! Answers user Beezos, who asks:"Would you ever betray your soccer team? to impress someone or for any other reason? If so give me the reasons!!"

22:06 – My dad works at a small company that manufactures meat thermometers. It's actually a pretty cool product, I've seen it used by Antoni on Queer Eye, but my dad has become borderline obsessed. Two years ago, for Christmas Eve, he gave us all keychain sized meat thermometers. Now, when we go out to restaurants, he has a habit of interrogating the wait staff about the kitchen's meat cooking methods, even though he always orders salads. How do I make him understand that there are better times to promote his product than when I'm just trying to order chicken piccata? – The Sins of the Father in Salt Lake City

26:11 – Y Jr. – Sent in by Riley, from Yahoo! Answers user troublegum, who asks: "Is it safe for me to lick my Himalayan salt lamp every now and then? My Himalayan salt lamp is frickin delicious, better than table salt. I give it a lick every now and then, maybe once a day, or two, and it is the most gratifying taste. Would there be any trace minerals in it that could harm me, or actually improve my health? My allergies and eczema have vanished. The air stays cool, dry, and comfortable."

28:04 – Y – Sent in by Peyton, from Yahoo! Answers user Spike, who asks: "Why do people think my fighting stance is weak? I have three weak points on my body. My nose, my jaw, and my stomach. My right fist is in front of my nose, my left fist is in front of my jaw, and I keep my chin low so I'm looking through my eyebrows. I have a slight bend in my knees to hunch my stomach back, and I bob and weave my head back and forth to be ready for a dodge and counter. The only part of my skull that is exposed is hard enough to break your hand. Hell, we headbutt for a reason, right? In my mind this is the perfect stance, but for some reason when I show this stance, my friends think I can't fight. Now we are full grown adults, but we don't dare find out. It could get ugly fast, and tbh, I don't have much fighting experience. So I'm just hoping to get perspective from fighters. Is my stance actually bad, or are they playing mind games? Because I kind of let them mess with me a little bit, because they're my buddies. Sometimes I want to kick someone's ass just to prove I could, other times I'm not sure I can. I've always had the perfect demeanor in life to avoid all conflict, never the victim and never the instigator. Something about me makes people not want to test me, but I sure as shoot don't test anyone either, so I just avoided so much fighting by simply not having to. It's a strange feeling to not know where I stand."

34:15 – Jazz Munch Squad – Heinz's Creme Egg Mayo

41:05 – MZ – Sponsored by Squarespace. Advertisement for The JV Club.

Audience Questions
45:23 – If I made you guys a knife, would you accept it? I make knives as a hobby. Do you guys want one?–Eli

50:24 – ''How do I (non-lethally) booby-trap my kitchen? ''I have five roommates and we share one kitchen, so at the beginning of the year we divvied up the drawers and cabinets and everything, and I have my cabinets and they have their cabinets. My cabinets, the stuff in there goes missing a lot even though I said "hey, can you keep my stuff in my cabinets?" So how do I non-lethally booby-trap all of mine? – Cameron

54:05 – How do I assert my dominance at the Home Depot? I am an electrician, so often I have to go to Home Depot or Lowes and pick up random parts because men don't know how to order things. The problem is, I am, sadly, very adorable. When I am in the Home Depot, it is very hard for people to just let me be and get my things. How do I assert that I am the boss of the trade goods?–Grace

59:04 – How can I stop being a picky eater? I like a lot of foods, but there's some specific foods that I just can't handle and that rule out a lot of meals for me. Soups, beans, tomatoes, onions. Seafood. Broccoli, a lot of vegetables, lettuce.–Jared

1:04:09 – I am an actor, and I have recently branched into narrating audio books as part of the hustle, and I've been mostly doing YA fantasy dystopia novels, and that's been great, but I've started to be approached by authors of erotica novels who pay a lot of freakin' money. I'm totally fine with doing it, but my question is, if I'm an actor auditioning for a Shakespeare festival, I don't want the director to google my name and say "Diddling the Duke, by Sydney Folmer." So I need a pseudonym and I was wondering if you guys would help me out.–Sydney

1:07:09 – Housekeeping

1:09:15 – FY – Sent in by Elena, from Yahoo! Answers user Richard D, who asks: "Is Long John Silver's generally a good fish experience?"