Episode 314: MBMBaM Summer Club

Outline
10:24 - My roommate moved out four months ago. He continued to pay his half of the rent while I lived alone until the end of our lease. Considering that I've done all the cleaning, how do I split up the deposit we get back? Does he still deserve half since he paid rent all this time, or do I get a larger chunk since I was integral in getting the deposit back? -- Courteous Cleaner In Kansas

17:05 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from Yahoo Answers user Ya-Hoo, who asks: Is there anything you can do to mute the sounds coming from the bathroom if it's about 10 feet from the living room?

I don't even understand why I have to ask this. How is there not a product on every shelf in every convenience store to do something about muting bathroom noise? From urination to defecation. Should I just put a button with a music player nearby or automatically have loud music play when a sensor detects that the door closed?

23:09 - Dear brothers three, I work as a print-production manager for a small athletic apparel company. There are only five employees. My boss is very annoying/childish. An unspoken part of my job is to be her friend. She complains when we don't Like her personal posts on FB. If I come to work and treat her like my boss and not my BFF, she retaliates, and the office dynamic turns into a weird mean girls spinoff. In response, I have started to "hate bake" every Monday - I bring in some homemade baked goods to work. I find the recipe with the most butter, and watch as my coworkers, who are on perpetual diets, gorge themselves. Am I good? -- Counting Calories In Cali (I am looking for a new job)

28:29 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from Yahoo Answers user Elizabeth Smith, who asks: When do waiters eat?

If a waiter works 8:00-4:00, when does he/she eat lunch?

33:06 - MZ - Advertisement for Magic Lessons.

40:24 - Jake and Amir are introduced

44:07 - I move a lot (read: six cities in the past four years, including two and a half years in Europe) and therefore have made a lot of connections with people all over the world. I love a lot of these people, but with the distance, the time difference, et cetera, it isn't easy to keep in touch. Any advice on how to maintain long-distance friendships? -- Disconnected In The Mid-West

47:57 - Is there a way to get people to take digital RSVPs seriously? I've found that Facebook RSVPs are almost 100% unreliable. I thought meetup.com would be more reliant, but people seem to flake on these as well. When did saying "yes" become "no, but I would rather inconvenience you by making you prepare for twice as many guests/attendees." Even group emails are a failing. I organize both small lectures and a kickball team. Help! -- RSVPed In Richmond

52:57 - I've tried online dating - pretty much all of them - but have not had any luck. We're talking anything from a guy telling me he loves me after three dates, to one sending me a link to his youtube so I could see his rap videos before we met (FYI, we never ended up meeting). So my question is this - what am I doing wrong? What advice can you give me to attract nice, normal guys? -- Can Jake And Amir Name Me (P.S. I'm a girl)

59:37 - I was a dating app, and I came across the profile for someone I immediately recognized as from a local band that I like a weird amount. I might have made a cross-stitching of some of their lyrics and hung it over my bed. I messaged him, and pretended that I didn't recognize him so he wouldn't think I was creepy. Now we've been chatting, which is awesome, but I don't know how to come clean. It feels like it's too late. Do I tell him I know who he is and how weirdly into his band I am? Obviously I'd take down the cross stitching before we hooked up. Or should I just accept that if I want this to be a thing, I must now live a lie? -- Catfish I Guess

63:03 - I’m a grown-ass woman who’s been texting for over ten years, but I have yet to figure out just how the hell to end a text conversation. If I have to go to work, or sleep, or drive, it’s easy to just say that, but otherwise they all seem to stagger slowly towards an awkward, clumsy end. How do I know when the conversation is over? -- Rachel Rosing

66:06 - What tinder bio would make you swipe right? -- Lain

68:12 - How can I get my older coworkers to stop asking me how Snapchat works? -- Lain

73:06 - Jake and Amir leave, Housekeeping

78:39 - FY - Sent in by Zoe Kinsky, from Yahoo Answers user DDD, who asks: "Will bong water get my plants high?"