Episode 278: The Gushie Tapes

Outline
10:50 - My office likes to celebrate birthdays, and I must live in a time vortex because it feels like we celebrate a new birthday every week. Every birthday, the office gets a cake, snacks, and a card. I dread these cards - what are you even supposed to write on these things? At a certain point, how many ways can you write "happy birthday blah blah blah?" Do you have any creative things I can write? Should I have a specific thing I write every time, or come up with personal things every time? I need your help. -- Another Year Older, No Years Wiser In Washington, DC

18:13 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from "YaDrew Answers" user David, who asks: Can a teenager have a personal bodyguard for a short amount of time?

If so, what website can I sign up for this? Prices would be nice.

26:23 - I'm looking for some social awareness advice here. No one likes a spoiler, but at some point they lose their potency. Clearly I'm not going to discuss the happenings of The Mick the day after it airs loudly in a group of people, but if they don't know that Bruce Willis is a ghost, then they have missed the boat. What is the time-frame in which a spoiler transitions to socially acceptable conversation fodder? -- Spoiler-Free In Sidney

28:57 - Hey brothers, sometimes I go out to see a movie with my friends, and we take a cab or Uber home. What's the policy of talking about the movie in a cab or Uber. Should we worry about spoiling the movie for the driver? -- Blabbing In The Big Apple

34:51 - MZ - Sponsored by Harry's. Sponsored by Blue Apron. Sponsored by Maggie. Advertisement for Throwing Shade.

43:28 - Y - Sent in by Amanda Morhemy Aponte, from Yahoo Answers user Morgis, who asks: What would Quantum Leap have been like if Scott Bakula's charachter were played by a horse?

I'm just wondering if you think the series would have been as well received if a horse had played Dr. Sam Beckett.

How do you think it would have been different? What horse-actor would you choose to replace Mr. Bakula?

58:07 - Housekeeping

63:47 - FY - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from Yahoo Answers user Music Is Life, who asks: "What celebrity would you like to swim with?"