Episode 373: Face 2 Face: Bonefolders

Outline
6:03 - My mom's coworker recently came to her asking advice about a situation. She thinks someone has physically snuck into her house, Pink Panther style, and passworded her wi-fi so she can't use it. She doesn't believe that there's a password that comes with the unit, and instead wants to install security cameras and get a whole new laptop to catch this apparent wi-fi ninja. How do we convince her that there is no ninja, but instead, just look at the user manual? - Erin

8:57 - Y - Sent in by Katelyn. From Yahoo Answers user Ronaldundefined, who asks: "Can a dolphin tell if your hungover?"

13:56 - Our household vacuum, while still functional in a technical sense, isn't quite what it used to be since my roommate sucked up an entire crew length sock with it, which he left for me to discover and extract after weeks of shrugging noncommittally every time I wondered aloud why the suction was so bad. I continued to do my best with what we had, feeling I wasn't in a financial position to purchase a new vacuum, but my mother recently took pity on me and my dust-bound purgatory and purchased one for me on the condition that my sock-vacuuming housemate never be allowed to use it. What are some lies I can tell my housemate about the powerful, highly efficient vacuum sounds coming from my room every Sunday? How do I keep him from discovering the new appliance and taking another vac-tim?

17:54 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport. From YaDrew Answers user YoungSpongey, who asks:

What's in your Dream Stable.? For our Equine Science class, my friend and I have to design our very own dream stable. We've chosen to be a boarding facility; apparently we have unlimited money so we get to spend obscene and offensive amounts of money.

We have all the stuff for a somewhat classy little boarding facility:

- indoor/outdoor arenas

- designated riding pastures

- trails

- jumps/poles/letters/mounting blocks

- heating/air conditioned tack rooms

- like 10 pastures

- a 20 main stall barn and a 8 stall pony barn (for the kids mainly, because adults and kids don't usually mix too well).

- trailers (we're including a trailer service).

We've included the prices of like manure spreaders and water buckets and whatnot.

Is there anything I'm missing or anything fancy and so frivolous that my friend and I just must include.?

My mom suggested chandeliers in the indoor and barns. I thought that'd be pretty fun. My friend and I are going to show Obama how to really spend billions (no offense intended).

Thanks.!

26:50 - I just started a new job, and while it's generally been good, I've been having a problem with my boss. I work for a streaming company that broadcasts corporate meetings live to the web, so there's no room for failure during an event. Like clockwork, before every event starts, my boss approaches me, takes off his headset, looks me right in the eye, and whispers, "Don't fuck this up." He pauses, and then says even more quietly, "Don't." This makes me feel incredibly nervous, and even though I'm fairly sure he's just joking around and I have never messed up, he says it with a completely straight face. Brothers, how do I get him to stop doing this? - Livestream Lament

Audience Questions
30:30 - I have a theory, and I would just love to hear your thoughts. I have a theory that every raccoon is the ghost of a Confederate Civil War hero. I believe this, just because raccoons are scoundrels. - Jen

34:06 - My friend and I have a podcast where we talk about fan theories and hypothetical questions. I wanted to know if you had any fan theories, about anything. - Stefan

37:13 - We all love the good good goof "kiss your dad square on the lips", but for me it's a constant fear - a constant fear of my mother. I am a 25-year-old married woman, and every time she sees me, she kisses me square on the lips. It really skeeves me out, so I'm wondering, how do I ask her to just not...? - Charlotte

41:26 - MZ - Sponsored by Harry's. Personal message for Erin. Personal message for Will. Advertisement for The Greatest Discovery.

46:44 - I need you guys' advice on how to convince my cousin that the patriarchy is real. He believes in the gender binary, but he doesn't believe in gravity. (He's a flat earther, too.) - Dani

50:50 - I'm a third-grade teacher, and one of my students the other day was like, "Wow...when you smile, it's very creepy." My question is, how do I convince him I'm not creepy? - Chelsea

53:48 - I go to school here, I go to Emerson College, but I'm from New York. How do I be a little bit proud of being from New York while living in Boston? - Bailey

57:38 - Can nuns kiss? - Tim

59:09 - I'm studying for a Ph.D in physics. How do I introduce the fact that I study physics without making people groan or say they hate their high school class? - James

62:54 - I go to college here, but I'm from South Dakota, and nobody here has met someone from South Dakota. This is the perfect grift opportunity to convince people of things that exist in South Dakota. I've already convinced a few people there are jackalopes; what are some other things I can convince people of? - Kallie

68:06 - I work as an art conservator. There's a tool that we use when we want to make a nice sharp crease; it is called a bonefolder. Common parlance in the paper conservation world is, when someone tells you to use your bonefolder to fold something, they'll tell you to "bone down hard". I do not want people to stop doing this; my problem is, when I'm at work and someone says "you're really gonna have to bone down hard on that one", I laugh, and it doesn't register because my coworkers have been saying it for so long. How do I make my coworkers not think I'm shitting all over their ideas when I laugh at this funny shit that they say? - Chloe

74:25 - My old roommate, when he would take a shower, instead of using a towel, he would use toilet paper. One time he went all the way into the kitchen and used paper towels. I know he has a towel, I've seen it, but he's never used it. Is he an alien trying to steal my organs? - Corey

80:02 - I'm a female security guard at a truck gate. I'm basically the only female there and I have to deal with a lot of truckers. They all think I'm super enchanted by them because they don't see a lot of women, apparently. Like, if it's raining, they'll be like, "your shirt, in rain." Some of them are really gross and it's very upsetting. I lied about having a husband once and the guy leaned over and went "I don't even care". They all tend to call me things like "sweetheart", "hon", "babe", but I've recently started responding with "no problem, sport", "no problem, champ". My question is, what else can I use? - Emily

85:40 - Housekeeping

86:27 - FY - Sent in by Seth Carlson, from Yahoo Answers user Andy, who asks:

"Are lobsters italian?"

Trivia

 * This live show was recorded on the same day as the previous episode, Episode 372.