Episode 159: Home Alone Castle Doctrine

Outline
05:57 - I hate talking on the phone. I can barely understand people, and I don't like having to stop whatever I'm doing to have a conversation, so I've developed a policy: I don't answer the phone unless someone calls multiple times (so it's probably an emergency) or if they text me beforehand to ask if I'm free to talk. If they leave a message, I will usually respond via email or text if possible. My question: is there a way to explain this policy in my voicemail message? I would like people to know I'm not answering, but I don't want to sound like a jerk. -- Phone Phobic

11:42 - Y - Sent in by Julie Kinn, from Yahoo Answers user jameilious, who asks: How to cheaply catch a thief cheaply?

Need some clever ideas about how to catch someone stealing from a walk in cupboard. Only person going in there for this would be the thief, but pretty sure traps are illegal... Need something cheap as we're poor lol.

Thanks

21:38 - How do I gently bring up the issue of my sister leaving her hair in brushes? Our family has a bunch of hair brushes, and no one claims particular ownership over any brush. Me and my sister (I'm a guy, by the way), we both use too, but every other day I see a big ol' mess of red hair on the brush, and I have to take it out myself. I don't want to piss off my sister and otherwise irk her, as I think outright saying, "hey, don't be so gross, and clean up," would piss her off. -- Hair Hoarder In Her Majesty's England

26:19 - Y - Sent in by Andy Hill, from Yahoo Answers user John, who asks: Detailed: how to kiss, please?

Some girls like making out with me, and some say I use too much teeth. Help me out here guys? How should you kiss?

31:24 - Farm Wisdom

34:48 - MZ - Personal message from John Solak. Sponsored by Extreme Restraints. Advertisement for Throwing Shade.

41:17 - I'm throwing my husband a surprise party a few weeks from now. He's turning thirty, and he's not thrilled about it, so I want to make it awesome for him. There's one dillema I'm running into: how do I get him out of the house while the guests arrive and get things set up.

41:32 - My girlfriend of 2.5 years has recently really gotten into video games. That's awesome, because I've been a gamer all my life. The only problem is that she does not have anyone to play with except me and my friends. She plays with us occasionally, but there are times when I just want to hang out with "the guys" in a game, or the game we're playing is just too difficult for her. She isn't a fan of single-player games, so how does she find other girls or guys to play with. None of her friends are into games, and I am stumped as how she can find some gamer friends. -- Gamer Hunting In Illinois

46:05 - My lady and I are going to get a dog soon. While looking for the right hound, we've discussed several different dog names. If we get a female dog, she wants to name it Beyonce. Being a white couple, I feel like that might come off as racist, even though my girlfriend is a big Beyonce fan, I think it might send the wrong message. Is this a valid concern? What's the rule for naming animals after celebrities? Additional Details: The dog we're most likely to get soon is a female black lab. -- Doggone It In Minneapolis

49:31 - Y - Sent in by Max Genikov, from Yahoo Answers user andyruss13333, who asks: What is a creative name for a large bbq sandwich with the works and then some?

I have a new idea for a huge bbq sandwich at my restaurant. It will consist of a 1/4 lb of bbq, a couple strips of rib meat, covered with slaw, pickles, cheese and baked beans. It is a very big sandwich and very sloppy as well. Feel free to be creative and thanks for your help in advance.

54:54 - Housekeeping

59:55 - FY - Sent in by Nicholas Guren, from Yahoo Answers user Sebastien, who asks: "What parts of the body can be shown in a MEDIUMCORE porno movie??"