Episode 164: Gaperboy

Outline
06:04 - I don't know how to seal the deal on the dance floor. Whether or not I'm a terrible dancer is up for debate, but I have a good time when I'm out on the dance floor by myself or with a buddy. The problem is when I catch a girl's attention, I begin dancing with her, I lose my momentum. Where am I supposed to look while I dance with her? Do I strike up a conversation? Do I ask her if she wants a drink? I just can't seal the deal, and after one song they all leave. -- Gmail

12:15 - Y - Sent in by Megan, from Yahoo Answers user Jack S, who asks: "I'm finally rich - now what? I've spent all this time working 80 hour work weeks, dealing with co-workers and bosses I despise and now I've finally made my personal goal. What the heck do I do now? I'm already set to tell my boss off but what comes after? I have no friends, I wanted a relationship but they never understood that I wanted to get work out of the way while I was still young and physically able to enjoy life! Now I'm alone and I don't know what I want. I'm not a mean guy I've just found it hard to be in social situations. What do people usually want? I've never done a lot of things, never even played a video game. Any suggestions? And how can I get back to dating? Through new friends? The idea of speed dating terrifies me btw so none of that please. :)"

20:44 - Internet Celebrities: Jeff Cannata - Hello Justin, Travis, and Griffin. I come to you because I love your show, I value your advice, and because Justin generously contributed cash-money to my Kickstarter campaign (let's be honest, it's mostly that third one), but I come to you at a giant crossroads in my life for some major, major advice. As you may know, I love loving things, I love loving love, I love love, and I love women, but there is one particular woman that I'm in love with, and I want to ask her to marry me. Luckily, she doesn't listen to the internets; she's not aware of it having audio yet, so don't tell her, but tell me: how should I do it? As guys in various states of married and unmarried status, how should I do it? What will guarantee her having said yes and my eventual happiness and marital bliss? I look forward hearing your question (I'll take it off the air). Long time listener, first time caller.

28:35 - MZ - Sponsored by Extreme Restraints. Advertisement for Throwing Shade.

32:43 - Farm Wisdom
 * Race horse castration disposal.
 * Chicken behavior.

36:49 - Hey, I keep finding random sex toys in my yard. I live on a busy street, and over the past year my wife and I have found multiple simulated penises of varying sizes and styles strewn throughout our yard, some making it as far as our back yard, which is approximately thirty feet from the road. Is this some new tradition that high schoolers are participating in (like finding porn in the woods), or do I just live in a very kinky neighborhood? -- Extremely Restrained In Rochester

39:20 - Y - Sent in by Julie Kinn, from Yahoo Answers user AJ Foxweather, who asks: "All you can eat buffet...is it worth it? I just want to dine at a place where you can have pizza & tacos & macaroni and cheese & spaghetti in one sitting....but I've never eaten at one of these restaurants before. Is it worth the price to get in? I also hear that these places are unsanitary & I don't want to get a food sickness. Thanks."

46:38 - Housekeeping

51:58 - FY - Sent in by Ryan Steiner, from Yahoo Answers user Jezelia Juarez, who asks: "Have fear to be touched for bald persons?"