Episode 534: The Hang-in-There Burger

Outline
00:45 - Intro - Griffin McElroy gives a press conference announcing his concession of the 2020 US Presidential election.

13:47 - Recently, while my roommate was away for the weekend, I executed a crafting endeavor which required me to stick my recently purchased silicone tongs into a melted Bath & Body Works candle. I washed them afterwards and put them back where they belong. A few days later, when my roommate was back, I made some dinner for the two of us using the tongs, and the entire meal tasted faintly of this candle. I don't think my roommate noticed, because otherwise he would have said something. I'm at a crossroads; do I tell my roommate about what happened and replace the brand-new tongs, or do I keep them and continue to have my meals taste like mahogany coconut? - Shameful in Champagne

18:54 - Y - Sent in by so many people, from Yahoo! Answers user Rileigh, who asks: "HOW TO FILL A WATERBED QUICKLY (NO HOSE)? The Situation : My roommate is currently out of town for the weekend and is visiting family for her birthday. As a thoughtful gesture I thought I would get her a (used) waterbed for her birthday as she's stated several times she wants one. The thing I failed to realise however when purchasing the behemoth Queen Size waterbed off of Kijiji, is that it doesn't come pre-filled. I am now stuck with a large plastic sack sitting on my living room floor, my roommate is coming back in 2 days and I have no idea how I'm going to get this awful mistake filled before she gets home. How do I amend this terrible soggy situation? Do I explain it to her and live with the shame of my aquatic misery or is there another solution?"

23:06 - While grocery shopping with my mom, I started feeling chilly from the blast of fall AC. I remarked half-jokingly that I could go to the clothing aisle and wear a jacket for the rest of our shopping trip. She looked at me, offended, and chided me for this idea, but the more we discussed it, the more I started thinking it was a genuinely good solution to my chattering teeth. Her arguments were: I raised you better, you don't know who else wore it, and it's dishonest. Brothers, when things are safer, would it be acceptable for me to wear a jacket without the intent of purchasing it? Was my mother right to dissuade me? - Shivering Sister in Florida

35:48 - MZ - Sponsored by Stamps.com, Stitch Fix, Hawthorne. Advertisement for Who Shot Ya?

42:20 - Munch Squad - Featuring Count Donut
 * Fatburger's "Hang-in-There Burger"
 * Marks & Spencer's "Santa's Yumnut"
 * Starbucks says "Carry the Merry"

49:48 - Y - Sent in by Ben Kantt, from Yahoo! Answers user joe, who asks: "is scaring people with a chainsaw legal? My brother and i have been scaring people 5 years with my chainsaw and this year of Halloween we got the cops called on us by a lady. but the cops never showed up! btw we were on our property scaring them and we never get close to them and a lot of people like us and the chainsaw do to its amazing sound! Update: is scaring people with a chainsaw on Halloween legal?"

54:29 - Housekeeping

57:40 - FY - Sent in by Ben Kantt, from an anonymous Yahoo! Answers user whom Griffin calls "Jim Davis", who asks: "If Freddy Mercury Was Still Alive Do You Think He Can Play As Joker?"