Episode 405: Gumpy, Hey!

Outline
0:45 - Intro - Avengers Watch. Stan Lee's jerk-off scene.

7:46 - My father was recently retelling a story over dinner that I've heard since early childhood. When he was in grade school, he was playing American football with some friends before being aggressively tackled to the ground by a boy a few years older than he, blacking out instantly and waking up in the hospital. The boy did not apologize. This time in telling the story, however, my father casually revealed that the tackler was Mark Harmonundefined. My question is this: Do I have a legitimate case against Mark Harmon for tackling my dad, and if so, what should I say/do upon seeing him in court or otherwise? Please advise; I need closure now that I am fully aware of the direct link between NCIS and my primal fear of contact sports. - Healing in Hawaii

13:29 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from Yahoo Answers user you wrong, who asks:

"Heroes and villains?"

"Who are the biggest heroes and villains in baseball today? Give your reasons why."

20:22 - This morning, I decided to wear shorts to work. It's the first day of May and they haven't turned the air conditioning on at the school where I work yet. Yesterday, I was really hot at the end of the day and it was like 78 outside. Today it's going to be 85, hence the shorts. So why are all of the other teachers coming up to me and saying "Shorts? Nice." as if I'm some kind of island spirit or beach nymph? It's gonna be hot. I wanna wear shorts. Help, am I losing my mind? - Shorts Boy in Chicago

25:44 - Y - Sent in by Grinn Valesti, from Yahoo Answers user "Bubs", who asks:

"Any ideas for my plant pot experiment?"

"So there are types of plant that are basically very tough and competitive with other plants and like to take over - ivy, mint, dandelion, raspberry, marestail, etc. I had an idea of sourcing some of these and putting them all into one single plant pot and then waiting to see what happens as they all fight for dominance and see what comes out on top. So to make this interesting what would be the best plants to use for this experiment? I'm looking for competitive plants that will fight each other for dominance."

30:07 - MZ - Sponsored by Casper, Stamps.com. Jumbotron for 8-Bit Geek. Message for Mel from Dave. Message for Catherine from Calli. Advertisement for Dead Pilots Society.

37:39 - Y - Sent in by Grinn Valesti, from Yahoo Answers user "Davis", who asks:

"What would it be like if Deadpool took over the Cracker Barrel franchise?"

"I'm about to work there, I just wonder how hilarious it would be if he were running things."

41:01 - Recently I attended my good friend and fellow friend of the show's housewarming. I hadn't been there for very long when another friend asked me if I had seen "the terrible thing" he (the good friend) did in the bathroom. Nervously, I followed up to find out that our friend had installed a padded toilet seat in his bathroom - the bathroom separate from his bedroom that also serves as the guest bathroom for the house. We tried to tell him that it was unacceptable, but he wouldn't hear it. Tell me brothers, in today's enlightened times, is it unacceptable to have a cheap padded toilet seat in the one bathroom every guest in the house will use, or am I in the wrong for not loving it? We decided to let you be the judges.

46:29 - Phone calls tend to give me terrible anxiety, and at work this manifests in a very particular way: When spelling out a word, I find it very difficult to do the "[letter] as in [word]" thing, like F as in Frank. I panic and cannot think of any words that start with the letter, which just makes me more anxious, and as it starts to fold in on itself like an ouroboros with sweaty palms, I try to get out of having to do it by just saying the letter on its own and enunciating really hard, but sometimes that doesn't do the trick. I know there's a military phonetic alphabet, but in my panicky state I tend to forget that too. Please help! What's a way around this terrible problem?

52:05 - Housekeeping

55:15 - FY - Sent in by Adrian Cowles, from Yahoo Answers user ?, who asks:

"What do Canadians download?"

Quotes

 * "A, B, Cronk, Duuug, Eeeeeh, Fneh, Gumpy, Heeey!, I Love You Dad, Jesus, Cronk II, L, M, Evil M, Oh Daaaaddy, Papa, Quebec, Arrrrrh!, Ssssssss, *clap sound*, U, Vape, W, Cross, Yuuuup!, and then Z is - we're just gonna remove that one." - Griffin's new alphabet (abridged)