Episode 371: Face 2 Face: A Lot About Horniness

Outline
01:05 - Intro - Train Murder Preparedness

07:28 - Two months ago, I worked a table for my library consortium at the county fair. I took a walk to get a lemonade, and a gentleman manning one of the carnival game booths said hello to me as I walked by. I said hello back, and then as I continued to walk away, he said, "What kind of family you got?" I have polled a lot of people, and no one knows what this phrase means. Is it a pickup line? Is it a conversation starter? Is it a code phrase for carnies? I deeply regret not asking the man himself in the moment. I may never know the answer. Any ideas? - Still Confused in Cattaraugus

11:27 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from YaDrew Answers user Rhonda, who asks:

"Help me prank my step dad?" "I love my step dad, he is so cool! But he claims he is 'the king of pranks' and so me and my mom want to play a prank on him. We looked up a few things but so far nothing seems good enough. I thought of doing something to his truck :) but we live on a farm and anything we can do outside might hurt our horses if they get in it :/ any suggestions for awesome pranks that I can do inside! Me and my mom thank you :D laugh on!"18:02 - I work at a small building that is part of a larger facility. There are usually only six to eight people who work in this building; often, I am the only one who uses the women's restroom. Every day, the custodian comes and cleans the restrooms, and every day, he replaces the partially used-up roll of toilet paper on the holder in the women's room with a different partially used-up roll. I don't know what happens in the men's room. I know it's a different roll because the pattern or texture of the paper is different each day. I don't think we've ever finished up a roll in the ten years I've been in this building. The custodian rarely speaks, so I can't ask what is going on. Why is this happening? - Perplexed Paper Partaker

24:27 - Y - Sent in by Seth Carlson, from Yahoo! Answers user Blurry301, who asks:

"So in the emoji movie can other emoji's have sex and have kids??"

30:48 - Haunted Doll Watch - "Navitius"

39:12 - MZ - Sponsored by Naturebox. Personal message for Darla and Stefan. Personal message for Evan. Advertisement for Who Shot Ya.

45:28 - From the Audience: I work at an Ace Hardware. I love my job, but around closing time, we get a lot of dads who need welcome mats, by which I mean we get a lot of people who come in 15 minutes before we close. Right now, what we do is we turn the music off and we turn off lights, but I was wondering if there were any songs that you had any ideas of that we could play to push people out the door. - Marco

52:24 - Question from Ian about dating coworkers.

54:20 - From the Audience: So, as some of you probably know, weed is legal in DC now. I'm trying to get a cannabis card, because I'm very aboveboard and I don't know where to find it. My problem is, I need a physician, and since I'm in college I don't have a grown-up physician yet. As I see it my options are twofold: I can either try to meet a new physician, or I can go to my pediatrician. - Anna

60:03 - From the Audience: So my partner and I have been in a long-distance relationship for six months. My question is, do you guys have any tips on how we might do a long-distance meet the parents? - Renee

64:02 - From the Audience: I work in a coffee shop, and the majority of my customers are very nice, I see them every day. But 1% of the time, they're kind of dicks. They'll fucking sass at me, like they'll give me change while I'm already making them change, and then question my intelligence. So what's the best way to confront somebody who's being a dick to you without cussing them out? - Leslie

67:55 - From the Audience: So I do improv comedy, and whenever I'm introducing myself and I mention that, everyone's first reaction is "why don't you do some right now?" They take it as a challenge. Do I just say no? - Will

71:45 - From the Audience: I got grifted last year. I was moving, so I was getting rid of all the garbage that I had collected over the years, and my dad worked at grocery stores his entire life, so he would come home and just throw display shit at me, like "this is a present!" He gave me a Lego Keebler elf at one point, and the only place it fit was on top of my big dresser, and it stared at me as I slept as a child, and I hated it all my life. I decided to get rid of it last year, and I put it on Craigslist for $5, and no one responded for days. A week later, I started getting texts saying "Where's the Keebler elf?" I'd already moved at this point, and it was at my mom's house, so they went to my mom's house, gave her five bucks, and we went our separate ways. I googled this Keebler elf and found out it was worth $300. - Casey

76:48 - Housekeeping

77:47 - FY - Sent in by Seth Carlson, from Yahoo! Answers user KYLE, who asks:

"As a vegan, can you believe it's September, already?"