Episode 261: Island Boy Begins

Outline
08:32 - Dear brothers, a friend of mine came over to study, and now she won't leave. She's been here for six hours, and seems to be settling in. How do I tell someone to go home without like I dislike them? Thanks. -- Guestressed In Germany

14:17 - Y - Sent in by Zoe Kinsky, from an unknown Yahoo Answers user, who asks: I think my best friend is a vigilante... What should I do?

My friend [name I will not mention] has been acting very tired; numerous times coming to high school with a limping posture and sickly look. Recently, there has been a local vigilante interfering with the drug trade to high schoolers--the vigilante actually held the drug dealer for the cops and fled the scene when police began to turn hostile on the "hero" as everyone sees him. As I see him. This vigilante is sometimes seen patrolling the local town and has stopped kids from doing graffiti and vandalism, rescued a woman from being mugged and aided the Fire Dept... The main reason I believe my friend to be the masked hero is because on the day of the burning tower; the vigilante was seen there and the following day, my friend had a broken arm. The vigilante also had a broken arm as he held a door above his head so people could escape. A Fire Fighter had to pull the vigilante out and he was unconscious. Once he woke up, he left before he was arrested. I honestly don't know why the police hate this guy; I really think he's a hero... And I'm afraid it's my friend. I don't plan on reporting him--but the big question is... Should I let him know that I know, encourage him to stop, or leave this be? He could get hurt. He HAS gotten hurt. And also, can somebody explain why the police hate him? He IS a hero, right? Does what nobody else would do for people they don't even know... Thanks for your time.

24:57 - I teach in a high school and we just got a new principal. He used to coach wrestling, and all reports are that his handshake is super-aggressive. I don't know if this is how he tries to establish alpha dog, or if he is just like that naturally. When I meet him, do I try to match his handshake so he respects me, or do I try to use a dainty southern shake, so he knows he's dealing with a person of high intellect? -- Mono A Mono

28:36 - MZ - Sponsored by Base Camp. Sponsored by Warby Parker. Personal message from Donna, Eric, Mark, Mateo, and John. Personal message from Jeremy. Advertisement for Judge John Hodgman.

36:06 - Farm Wisdom
 * Hazardous Goat Poop
 * Cow Washing
 * Corn Height
 * Cow Sleep

40:50 - Y - Sent in by Zoe Kinsky, from Yahoo Answers user Resis, who asks: "Is it possible to ask a question without using a question mark?"

47:32 - I get pretty bad stage fright when it comes to urinals in mens' restrooms. If there isn't a divider between heads, I almost definitely won't be able to pee if someone is next to me. This can even restort to me having to pretend to go, just so I can find another restroom, just so I don't look weird in front of strangers. Is there some magic solution to peeing in public restrooms, or will I forever be that guy that pees standing up in the stall? -- Public Pissing Problemo

53:35 - Housekeeping

59:49 - FY - Sent in by Zoe Kinsky, from an unknown Yahoo Answers user, who asks: "Do they make Rob Schneider dolls?"

Trivia

 * As Griffin would later mention in Episode 262: Where Everybody Flies a Plane, Rachel Spurling also submitted two of the three questions read this episode, but did not receive credit.