Episode 439: Face 2 Face: Candlenights 2018

Outline
00:45 - Intro - No one is cussing tonight. Griffin has a toilet illness.

5:27 - Y - Sent in by Adrian Cowles, from Yahoo! Answers user Billiam, who asks: "Is it better to smoke a cigarette or vape during an open air Christmas carol service? We shall stand at the back where most of the smokers gather. There will be lots of kids present."

9:12 - I did a bunch of gift shopping at Half Price Books as I do every year. I got my seven-year-old nephew two books of Lego construction ideas and instructions. When I got home I discovered one of the books has an inscription stating it was a gift for Clay from his loving Grandpam in 2011. It is written in large letters on the front page. Do I wrap the book as is, knowing my nephew will understand the nature of used books and that is the reason he is getting two books instead of just one, or do I try and hide the inscription somehow? Do I add a note saying something like "I guess Clay didn't like this book too much, but I bet you will" in an attempt to appeal to my nephew's sense of humor? - Festive Faux Pas in Fort Worth

12:07 - Griffin swears and attempts to atone with a Blockbuster gift card.

12:47 - Y - Sent in by Charlotte, from Yahoo! Answers user D Girl, who asks:

"How does Santa get away with having his elves put together and give away toys that are trademarked or patented by other entities? Is he above the law?"

16:48 - I am currently sitting in a well-known sandwich establishment, waiting for a call that my car inspection is finished, when a man started to do a Christmas rock set at noon. Currently, he is facing me, and I am the only patron in the establishment. Brothers, what is the protocol for being the only audience member? Should I clap solo between songs? I've taken one earbud out, and I've done some intermittent foot taps, but what should I do? - Punny Names are Hard in Baltimore

20:58 - Y - Sent in by Graham Roebuck, from Yahoo! Answers user Dravens, who asks:

"What does Santa Claus and the Christmas people do on Easter?"

24:25 - Griffin swears again, but they can say it on Friends, so it's okay.

24:34 - My mother loves Santa Claus so much to the point where she has him decorated in her house all year round. Not Christmas decorations all year, just Santa. I never thought it was weird but a friend of mine recently pointed out how weird it was. When I asked my mother why she had so many, she just said she likes him. Is this weird or is my friend just being a jerk? - Coal for Christmas in Columbus

28:16 - Y - Sent in by Brittany, from Yahoo! Answers user Be Not Nobody, who asks:

"What are some good Christmas gifts to put in a red and black mafia/dragon living room? Hi. I'm trying to do some Christmas shopping for my boyfriend who is 26 years old. He loves Scarface and the Goodfellas. He also loves dragons and weapons. I'm looking for some ideas to make Christmas gifts for him to put in the living room, maybe you have some ideas. He loves fancy things. Also if you know of any online shops where I can find fancy gifts for a guy that would be awesome."

31:21 - MZ - Sponsored by Boll and Branch. Advertisement for The Beef and Dairy Network.

36:20 - A very obvious lead-up to a Justin segment. Griffin is forced to make up a Yahoo:

Sent in by The Crow, from Yahoo! Answers user Sick Man, who asks:

"Gosh, bein' sick all the time is sure bad. Also, because this is Yahoo! Answers, can dogs see wi-fi?"

38:01 - Haunted Doll Watch - Christmas stocking

Audience Questions
45:54 - My friend Jackie and I are staying at an Airbnb this weekend, and I cooked sausage gravy and biscuits this morning, and I started a small grease fire in the kitchen. Do I have to tell the host that I started a grease fire? It didn't damage anything. We haven't gotten the stains off of the glass top stove yet, but we're trying. - Annabel

46:12 - Annabel swears.

49:42 - About two years ago for Christmas I got myself figure skating lessons, and in that time I have improved significantly. While I have gotten better, I am not what you would call "good", and during almost the entire two years since I have started skating, there is this other skater at the rink that kind of makes fun of me and bullies me about my skills. The problem is that he is about 8 years old. Obviously I can't fight a child but what should I do? - Rowan

53:53 - Every year during Christmas Eve is the only time we go to church. I love the big man upstairs and everything, but it's the same thing every year, and I want to play Pokemon while I'm there at church. I can't stop to go to church. Are there any cool ways I could sneak it without God or my pastor seeing? - Connor

58:00 - I work as a personal nanny out of someone's house. It's a very old house, and the grandparent of the sweet baby child named Henry is currently working to paint the outside of the house. Problem: He is an old man with bad hearing and he sometimes doesn't notice when I'm playing in the living room, and he will use the bathroom with the door wide open, and I don't know how to comfortably ask him to release all of himself with the door closed. - Liam

1:01:40 - Housekeeping + MBMBaM Angels results

1:04:16 - FY - Sent in by Zed, from Yahoo! Answers user I Think I'm Gonna Get A Name To Load On This, Nope, Terry, who asks:

"Is the Happy Honda Days promotion part of the war on Christmas?"