Episode 394: Face 2 Face: I Fritos Hard

Outline
00:44 - Intro - The boys discuss their injuries from the preceding tour, including Griffin's Big Brave Stunt, Travis's seven drunk arm wrestles with Adel Rafai from Hello from the Magic Tavern, and Justin's having a fever right now.

06:54 - I have a coworker who immediately after crossing the doorway to the bathroom starts unbuckling and unzipping his pants as he walks to the urinal. He doesn't seem to have a medical condition or even have to go with any urgency. My question to you, brothers, is how close to the toilet do you need to be in order to start getting ready? - Not Close Enough in Neenaw

11:22 - Y - Sent in by "a lot of people", from Yahoo Answers user Amber, who asks: "What did Christian Grey say in the clean TV version of the movie Fifty Shades of Grey? He said 'I don't make love, I [blank]. Hard.' What did he say in the clean version of the movie suitable for TV?"

16:47 - I went to Penn Station before seeing Thor: Ragnarok with one of my friends. While at Penn Station, my friend began to make sex sounds and faces while eating his sandwich. When asked why he was doing this, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "It's just that good." He's a very enthusiastic person, but this behavior takes that to a new level. Can I remain friends with him? Should I just never go to Penn Station with him again? Help me, brothers.

20:26 - Haunted Doll Watch - Ebay seller punkinleah

24:13 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from Yahoo Answers user Annabelle Randy Randabelle, who asks: "If someone came up with the idea of a 'meat drink', would you drink it? It seems like people will try anything these days."

28:08 - I'm an illustrator pursuing my art degree at an art school in the area and have noticed something troubling during my time at art school. We have to take figure drawing classes - you know, where you draw naked people for hours in basically the dark. It's a great way to learn about the human body, but whenever we have male models, many of my classmates refuse to draw the pipis. How do you advise I encourage my fellow students to stop being cowards and draw that dang dick already?

33:18 - Y - Sent in by Drew Davenport, from Yahoo Answers user Jonathan Santana, who asks: "Is it possible to build toy with fake muscles, veins, bones, skin, organs, etc.? I want to have a toy Smurf with fake muscles, veins, bones, skin, organs, etc., you know. So where can I possibly order to get one and what would be an estimate on how much it would cost? P.S. I want it to be realistic, not fake looking."

37:34 - MZ - Sponsored by Squarespace, Texture, and Casper. Jumbotron for Oh No Lit Class Podcast. Message for Chelsea from Rob the Best. Message for Bill from Gretchen and Casey. Advertisement for Wonderful!

46:18 - Munch Squad (led by Griffin!) - Taco Bell x Forever 21

52:47 - Munch Squad (led by Justin) - Burger King's Whopper Severance

Audience Questions
58:02 - When I first started dating my partner, he did this goof, and I didn't listen to your podcast, and I was really confused why he knew so much about farm life. Then when I listened to a recent Bro's Better Best (sic) episode, I realized that Farm Wisdom wasn't an original goof of his, which - he does want me to say that he never actually claimed it was his own goof, but he was just really cute and I didn't want to ruin what he had going on, and we're married now and I want to know what we should name our dog. - Anna

I work in a tea shop, and we have free samples right at the front. I'm not always right there to hand them out to people, so when people come up to try it, I try and casually walk towards them and tell them about what we have there, and they run. One out of every hundred will stay, but most of them just bolt, like "just trying bye!" So how do I...[get people to stick around?] - Laneundefined

63:11 - My partner in crime is obsessed with the movie Ratatouille and will not stop talking about the movie Ratatouille and I'm starting to believe that she likes Ratatouille more than me. How can I get her attention back? - Red

About two years ago, I realized on my iPhone there was a downloaded version of Who Let The Dogs Out but it was a karaoke version. I didn't download it, and the only person who shares my iTunes account - my mom - also has no idea how it got there. And, caveat, I can't get it off my iPhone. I've now transferred it to two different iPhones in the last two years and it hasn't gone away. - Adrienneundefined

67:34 - Back in June, my sister went on her honeymoon with her now-husband to Las Vegas. She comes back and hands me a keychain with my name on it and a picture frame from Las Vegas of all the cool shit and a picture of her and her husband. And I told her, aw man, thanks, this is great, but I kind of feel bad because I'm actually lying to her. How can I let her down easy that this was the worst gift I could have ever received? - Morgan

I'm transgender, I identify as a trans man, and I've only been using the men's room for about three years, and the only thing I know about using the men's room is that we're supposed to make super aggressive no eye contact. I'm just wondering if there's anything else that I don't know I'm supposed to be doing in the men's room? - Eliundefined

71:08 - Housekeeping

72:50 - FY - Sent in by Seth Carlson, from Yahoo Answers user Stupid, who asks: "Does the word 'badass' mean 'not good butt'?"

Quotes
"I don't make love. I FRITOS hard."

"If you cut all the sex scenes out of Fifty Shades of Grey you get a short film about a very rich man that does not go to work."