Episode 395: Diagnosis: Onions

Outline
00:45 - Intro. Justin is sleep deprived from his new child, Cooper, who is pooping, screaming, and not sleeping. Travis went on the JoCo Cruise. Griffin definitely went to basketball camp. Travis reveals that every week, he picks six questions, knowing they're only ever going to get to three.

09:54 - My husband's name is Tim Allen. Yes, like the actor. Most of the time, when we place a pickup order of some kind, we use his name. However, almost every time we go to the store to pick up the item, the cashier jokingly says, "Oh, like the tool man, right? Ugh ugh ugh! Do you guys get that all the time?" to which we end up responding kindly "Yes, yes we do." Is there a better way to respond to these cashiers who always think they're the first one to make the joke about Tim Allen? How do we tell them to "stuff it, I've already heard that one!" without being overly rude? - Over It in Ohio

16:34 - Y - Sent in by Adrian Cowles, from Yahoo Answers user jonny, who asks: "In a real life situation can firefighter really pee on a small fire to get it out? cause game shows you can't believe?"

17:11 - Y - Sent in by Seth Carlson, from Yahoo Answers user jonny, who asks: "Family feud question name something a firefighter do to put out small fire? that was question the answer was pee how is that possible?"

24:48 - I work in a small office of about 10 people. My boss is always walking around, commenting on everyone's lunches. Like, "Wow, what's that? PB&J? Nice. Classic. Let me get a closer look at that. Nice." He will swing by your desk if you get Subway and ask you about every ingredient. Like, "Did you get onions on that thing? Nice." I know this sounds like a minor inconvenience, but it's so awkward and embarrassing and weird, and it's a harsh encroachment of my only 20 minutes I get to myself. Any advice is appreciated, cool brothers. - Just Trying to Eat in Manhattan

32:04 - MZ - Jumbotron for Hi Hungry I'm Dad. Personal message for Jack. Personal message for Kelly from Kelly. Advertisement for Judge John Hodgman.

38:18 - Y - Sent in by Nathan Smith, from Yahoo Answers user Jason Jith, who asks: "How do I play a video game? I never played a video game in my life before. What video game should i get? there was like thousands of video games at the stores with lot of colorful pictures. Also I think the store person said I need to have a console? what is that? ps3? ps4?xbox? nintendo? what is that?"

44:57 - I teach seventh grade English and Language Arts at a local middle school. There has been a dead roach on the inside of one of the lights for an entire year. I haven't moved it, because one, I wouldn't know how to put the light cover back on, and two, I never thought anyone would notice. That all changed when my fifth period class decided to personify the roach as our deceased class pet named Tommy. I played along with it because it seemed like silly harmless fun, however, my students are now have a funeral planned for Tommy the roach on Friday of this week. One student wrote a eulogy, and several of them have requested that I wear black out of respect. I'm concerned about wasting class time, but I don't want to stifle my students' creativity. Please help! - Creative Cockroach Conundrum in Texas

52:34 - Housekeeping

54:21 - FY - Sent in by Merit Palmer, from an anonymous Yahoo Answers user, who asks: "Where can I find scented candles that smell like new band-aids?"