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"Ritter Rider" was originally released on August 21, 2012.

Description

Griffin has returned from beautiful Germany and his once luminescent innocence has been replaced by a gnarled core of schnitzel. This week, watch as older brothers Justin and Travis attempt to delve into his psyche and wrest the last spark of humanity buried beneath the thick chitin of jet lag that surrounds his heart. Also: Fart jokes.

Suggested Talking Points

Sticky 'Bo, The Familiar Stranger, Sap Caps, Fur Kids, The Wiffenpoofs, Ritter Rider, Zynga's Latest Hit, "we were very clinical about it."

Outline[]

05:19 - I recently defended my dissertation and as such can be called doctor. While I've been looking forward to this, I now find it a bit awkward. When is it appropriate to introduce myself with, or purposely use, my freshly minted title. -- Newly Doctoral In New Orleans

11:08 - Y - Sent in by Teja, from Yahoo Answers user Sammy, who asks:

Is it safe to use maple syrup as lube on my condom?
Well I bought a bunch of condoms and it seems they aren't lubed at all.
And really the only thing I can really find around the house that could make a good lube is this syrup, are there any harmful effects to this?

20:04 - Hey, I'm currently shopping for a new car, and I'm hoping you can help me logic something out. I'm wondering if it's better to dress nicely (you know, tweed shirt and monocle) or dress like a hobo (preferably with bindle stick). Do you think it matters whether the dealer thinks I have money to burn or I'm counting my pennies. Thanks brothers! -- Ms. Peanut

23:59 - The brothers discuss "Fur Kids."

26:37 - Y - Sent in by Lisa Hollifield, from Yahoo Answers user Bryce, who asks:[Note 1]

I wanna start a gang, how is that done?
The title pretty much says it all, now this isn't any "gangsta with my pants around my knees" kind of gang, I want this to be like a 1940's gang. It needs to have more class than "bustin' caps" if you catch my drift.

32:50 - MZ - Personal message from Jack. Sponsored by Squarespace. Sponsored by Jake Hawken. Sponsored by Extreme Restraints.

39:51 - A couple of weeks ago I started hanging out with a lady. She was really cool, and she seemed to like me as well. A few days later she sent me a message to let me know that she only wanted to be friends. I was a little sad, I got over it, until I learned why - she was dating a magician. An actual magician. A man whose job it is to perform magic tricks. I was passed over for a magician. How should I feel about this? Should I feel offender, or have I dodged a bullet? -- Beaten In Brisbane

45:08 - Hey MBMBaM, I want to ask my girlfriend to marry me. I know the how part, but I'm torn on the when. I had been planning on a day that's special to us, but I think she suspects that when I would ask her. So, my question is: do I go with the element of surprise, or something expected but meaningful? -- Suitor From The South

49:08 - Housekeeping

52:49 - FY - Sent in by Jeremy Walker, from Yahoo Answers user Swimmer899, who asks:

Why do I very often dream that I'm wearing diapers?

Quotes[]

On Sticky 'Bo[]

“Always."
"Never."
"Sometimes?”
— Justin, Griffin, then Travis

On The Familiar Stranger[]

“Well, it lets you give yourself a Familiar Stranger, if you've got the condom on there, if that's your concern."
"And if you put syrup in it, all the sudden it's a Sticky Who'dun'it!”
— Justin & Griffin

On The Wiffenpoofs[]

“Real quick, the issue for you not joining this gang is your hair, right, and not your inability to shoot thirty cops outside a train station?”
— Griffin
“How many crime would we do?”
— Justin

On Zynga's Latest Hit[]

“Now here's the counter-counter point: [Using a truly loathsome voice] Who wants to get married? Ball and chain, milking the cow, don't milk the cow, you can go out and get it, you don't have to tie yourself down, just fly free on that hot air balloon because you don't need a sand bag tying you down, just go sew your seeds in a field of pussies!"
"WAIT A MINUTE!!
— Griffin & Justin

Notes[]

  1. The title goof appears in this section.

References & Links[]

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