My Brother, My Brother and Me Wiki
My Brother, My Brother and Me Wiki

"Contraband Future Dildos" was originally released on October 8, 2012.


We suggest you take the proper precautionary measures to fend off the unseasonable chill that's swept this country of ours. Maybe wrap yourself in a Sheetz quilt, or just let us whisper into your ears for 10 uninterrupted minutes.

Suggested Talking Points

Gas Station Blanket, Quad City Gangbang, Sexy Dan Aykroyd, Honeyhands, Noodling the Loaf, Two on the Floor, Weed Whispers


00:45 - Intro - Gas Station Blanket

03:46 - I'm in a relationship that recently passed the one year mark. My girlfriend is lovely and I want nothing but to be with her. However, I've recently noticed that my sex dreams are no longer with random hookups with single adults, but of cheating on my SO. It seems my relationship has crept into my very sense of self. I feel so guilty and fear my occasional sleep talking will give me away. What can I do? -- Thought Crime at Bed Time[Note 1]

12:37 - Y - Sent in by Supindle, from Yahoo! Answers user Rayoh, who asks:

What do you think about Dan Aykroyd, (physically)?
Is handsome, ugly... What is your opinion. (And be something specific, please).

20:13 - I work at a small rural high-school and I have a problem. The principal of my school does not know how to let go of a handshake. He will stand next to you and hold a conversation and without fail, never let go of your hand until the conversation is over. Whether the conversation lasts 10 seconds or three minutes, he will not let go unless you pull out with the anxiety and fear of an anxious teenager. How do I extricate myself from this sticky situation without being too awkward?

27:46 - MZ - Personal message from Amber. Personal message from Benjamin Ensor. Personal message from John. Sponsored by Extreme Restraints.[Note 2]

37:13 - My husband, Brett, and I do a fantasy football league with a couple of friends and I have a dilemma. I would like to flaunt my wins (especially over my husband) as I'm the only girl participant. However, I do not want to be mean and upset anyone. How do I celebrate my victories without seeming like I'm throwing it in their faces? -- 'bama Girl

40:39 - Y - Sent in by Maxwell McCandless, from Yahoo! Answers user "a", who asks:

My boyfriend goes #2 on my bathroom floor, should I allow this?
He says he can't go on a regular toilet because he has to squat due to a medical problem. But he cleans up afterward.

45:02 - I started a new job after moving to NYC three months ago but the job very quickly became intolerably stressful. I got fed up and looked for a better job and today I was accepted for a position that's not only better paying, but in a much less oppressive environment. My current boss exploded when I gave him my two weeks notice. She emailed me four times and called me twice in the course of an hour, all to tell me how shocked and disappointed she is, how the company is going to be in trouble because they can't find a replacement in two weeks, etc. How do I survive the next two weeks in a hostile, guilt-tripping environment? I want to make sure I make it to my new job intact. -- Guilted to Death

51:52 - Housekeeping

54:50 - FY - Sent in by Emily Wall, from Yahoo! Answers user Jolteon01, who asks:

What is the difference between Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Haley Joel Osment?


“Can you believe it? No! Neither can I!”
— Travis


  1. Griffin says that nothing from his childhood can be trusted after admitting to stealing a bit in Episode 121.
  2. The title goof appears in this section.

References & Links[]