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"The Armpit Hat" was originally released on July 26, 2010.

Description

We need everyone to think back about all the good we've done with all our advice before giving this episode a listen. Remember? All that good? Great. Because this is the episode which will be responsible for our long, slow descent into hell. Hopefully we've got enough positive karma in the bank to weasel our way out of eternal damnation.

Suggested Talking Points

Begrudging respect, altercations, on porousness, XYZ, getting Carl Sagan on it, car talk, don't get them digits, safe sex helmet


Outline[]

00:25 - Intro - Live from Times Square

01:23 - Formspring - I've been with my current girlfriend for around 3 months and feel more attracted to other women than to her. What would you advise I do?

05:02 - Email - Recently I was in a situation where I was provoked at a large, public sporting event. There were some unkind words exchanged, and I was asked to stand up and fight. I was certainly up for it, after how annoying the guy was to me, but given I was outnumbered, surrounded by 50 police officers, as well as being with a new peace-loving friend, I decided to just grit my teeth and move away. I'm about to turn 19, and I've noticed that as I get older, I am put in more of these types of situations, even when keeping to myself. So I ask you, should I man up and attempt to take out the next schmo that goes off at me, or should I continue to back off? -- Ramsey

09:56 - Formspring - I need relationship advice on how to be more romantic. My wife states that I am not romantic, and I need ideas for how to do so. McElroys, I need your help!

11:58 - Y - From Yahoo! Answers user lala, who asks:

How do you get airbrushed, poreless skin naturally?
Is it possible?


14:05 - Email - My question is, I always forget to zip my fly, and halfway through my day, I realize this. I was basically wondering, what's the easiest way to zip it without anyone noticing? -- Jared

15:26 - Email - What do I do about a clingy friend who likes my company way more than I do, hers. She's proclaimed us "besties" without any encouragement from me, and she comments on every tweet, despite not getting most of them. "I don't get why this is funny silly me lulz"

18:15 - Email - Dear MBMBaN[sic], what's the best way to tell my girlfriend that she should shave her armpits more often? I'm afraid to hurt her feelings, but her stubbles kinda gross me out.[Note 1]

21:15 - Email - Should I get my knuckles tattooed? I really wanna do it, but my mom hates the idea and thinks people will view me poorly for the rest of my life. I told my husband I was thinking about not doing it, and he started making chicken noises. My tattoo artist friend drew it on for me in Sharpie so I could see how it would look and live with it for a day. I loved it. I don't wanna hurt my mom's feelings, but you only live once, right? -- Anna

24:42 - Y - From Yahoo! Answers user Jeffery Peck, who asks:

what are the stars in outerspace?
what there made of, what they look like


25:27 - Y - From an unknown Yahoo! Answers user, who asks:

Is the universe really inflating or are we shrinking?
I don't understand the inflating (expanding) universe concept. If you are inside of something (in this case, I think all of the scientists are inside of the universe) can you really tell that this thing (the universe) is expanding? I don't think so. Maybe the universe is not getting larger, but we (humans, planets etc.) are getting smaller?
I think that only thing we can surely say is, the universe is getting larger WITH RESPECT TO us.

p.s 1 : sorry for the bad english
p.s 2 : I'm not very advanced in physics, so I can be wrong in some manners, please warn me if I'm doing a big mistake.


26:58 - Y - From an unknown Yahoo! Answers user, who asks:

what was traditionally done to prevent mind control by space elves?
c'mon i'm not joking. they're from venus and they are gross!


28:37 - Email - I recently got a sweet new ride. I've heard that cars are like chick magnets. The problem is, when I'm having a conversation with a girl, it's rarely in my car; conversations happen in buildings. How do I leverage my new car into getting girls? Does it involve using terms like "chick magnet" and "sweet ride" unironically? -- Evan

31:28 - Email - Hello brothers, I just had a quick question for you guys. I'm sorry if this makes me seem insecure, but is it bad if I don't wanna date a girl because she has two[sic] many male friends? Thanks. -- Kirk

33:24 - Email - MBMBaM, when a girl you just met is fully expecting you to get her number, but you don't like her like that, is it better to avoid the issue, which makes things super awkward, or to get those digits without any intention of calling?

35:13 - Email - I'm a girl who plays XBox games like Halo and Modern Warfare 2. I meet a lot of great people this way, but there are always a few who think because I'm a girl, I should be making them a sandwich instead of playing. What is the best way to deal with these guys? Also, Tristan the Marine got me hooked on you guys, so thank him for introducing me to such an awesome show. -- Rachel

37:40 - Y - From Yahoo! Answers user :), who asks:

Do guys like Peter Griffin get laid in real life?
(in terms of characteristics. ie: fat retard)


40:30 - Email - My question however is, how old is too old to think you might have developed superpowers? I ripped a metal door off its hinges at work and thought, "Okay, this might be it, superstrength." I tried to lift something ridiculously heavy and no jive, just a broken door, I guess. Do you guys do this? And when is too old? -- Kenneth

42:09 - Housekeeping

47:49 - FY - From Yahoo! Answers user Material, who asks:

Where can I find a plastic spatula for my George Foreman Grill?


Quotes[]

Trivia[]

  1. The title goof appears in this section.

Deep Cuts[]


References & Links[]

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