"Johnny Billyseed" was originally released on August 27, 2013.

Description Edit

Now that all three of us are on North American soil - the sweetest, most fertile soil there is! - we're back (a tad late) to share all the wisdom of our travels. There ... there isn't much.

Suggested Talking Points Edit

Turbotwerk, Dangerface, Larry's Fiesta Party on the House, Suits, Cigars, Making Fun, We've All Been Pregnant For Years, A Great American Legend

Outline Edit

06:48 - I will soon be moving back to college for the second time at the age of 27, will most likely be older than most of classmates and flatmates. I'm moving to a new city and that won't help anyone. Have you any advice on how to deal with the situation in terms of making friends? Like with relationships, is there an age gap that makes friendships a bit weird? -- New To Newcastle

10:43 - Y - Sent in by Ira Wray, from Yahoo Answers user True Beauty, who asks:
Are you Ira Wray? Wh
How can I legally change my dogs name?

His name is Larry I want to change it to Larry's Fiesta Party on the House (LFPH)

Additional Details: or

hotdog party days


16:02 - I recently purchased a few suits for a new job I got that requires me to look somewhat formal. I feel classy as hell wearing them, and I want to wear them as often as possible, but my girlfriend keeps shooting me down, saying I look silly. Aside from my job, when is classy-but-modern formal wear acceptable? I'm a college student as well; would it be weird to wear a suit and tie to a college class or when I'm just hanging out on campus? -- Suit-Less In Seattle

21:20 - I am nineteen years old, and am a long-time listener to the show. I enjoy smoking a pipe or cigar from time to time, but many of my friends think it's odd for someone my age. Even some clerks at the stores I purchase these products from act like it's weird for me to buy them. Is it strange that I enjoy these things? -- Junious V

28:12 - MZ - Personal message from Brett, Shelby, Jordan, and Alyssa. Sponsored by Hulu. Sponsored by Extreme Restraints. Advertisement for Sawbones/

36:05 - Farm Wisdom

  • How to kill slugs.
  • How to repel ants.

38:43 - Y - Sent in by Richard Chachare, from Yahoo Answers user Jennie, who asks:

Why is a big chest or doing it on a bed not called a fetish but toilet time love is called a fetish?

What if everyone around me also likes toilet time love like on some websites does that mean they're normal and people who need big chests or being kissed are like weird because they're different?

42:26 - Hey guys, my wife and I have finally found out she's pregnant with our first child, and we're waiting to tell my mom when we see her face to face on labor day weekend. I was wondering if you three have any tips for the grand reveal of a grandkid. -- Inducing In Indianapolis

49:18 - Y - Sent in by Robert Chachare, from Yahoo Answers user Arry, who asks:

Can you get a DUI on a pair of heelys?

I've heard you can get a DUI on anything but your feet (ex: boat, bike, skateboard, rollerblades, etc.) However, with heelys, you're technically on your feet, but also on wheels. What is the true legal consequence of Heely-ing under the influence?

54:24 - Housekeeping

58:11 - FY - Sent in by Steven Isaacson, from Yahoo Answers user Cooper, who asks:

Is it true if you take a cops badge that there not a cop anymore and your the cop?

Quotes Edit

On German Television Edit

Can I say something? I imagine we have German listeners, and I don't want people to think I'm xenophobic, because I genuinely do love traveling to Germany (this is my second time doing it for work), but the hotel we were staying at had a TV station that was literally 24-hours Nazi documentary, like an old-timey TV news special on the whole Nazi thing, and they showed it literally around the clock. Every time we ate dinner at the hotel they had the TV turned to that station.
— Griffin

On Turbotwerk Edit

Like, I have filed 1099's that have been more sexually arousing than that whole performance.
— Justin

On Cat Name-Changing Edit

I'm sorry, at the time she looked like a Toby. That's my whole defense. But then it turned out that when I got in there-"
"Her name was Kunta Kinte.
— Justin & Travis

On Soulja Boy's Courier Service Edit

Soulja boy, I have a very dark secret to tell you and I need you -- can I count on you to keep this message in the absolute confidence. Don't -- Soulja boy, promise me. I cheated on Margaret, Soulja Boy. You can't tell 'em. To your fucking grave.
— Griffin

On Making Fun Edit

Do you make fun to your wife, Travis?"
"I make fun with her, Griffin.
— Griffin & Travis

On A New Great American Legend Edit

Billy Joel crashes his sedan into somebody's foyer, and obviously they're woken up, they're startled, and they go downstairs, and Billy Joel steps out like, 'I fucked up. I... I... I fucked... I fucked up!' They're like, 'Billy, it's okay! Billy, I'm going to tell this story forever, Billy! We're going to be at a bar, and Piano Man will come up - I can fuck anybody at that bar at that point! I can show you Billy Joel's car hole! Come back to my place, I can show you his car hole!'
— Griffin

Trivia Edit

Deep Cuts Edit

  • Travis mentions that Justin's cat Toby's true name was Kunta Kinte, which is a reference to the TV miniseries Roots.
  • Griffin calls Suit-Less In Seattle "Minkus," which is a common MBMBaM reference to Boy Meets World.

References & Links Edit