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"Nipple Aesthetics" was originally released on February 3, 2014.

Description

This episode finds you, the wasteland survivors, after the ravages of the Big Game have already--excuse the pun-- toucheddown. We pray you took the necessary precautions, and that our transmission might bring you some comfort in these trying times.

Suggested Talking Points

Surviving the Game, Utility Hog, Teen Clubz, Love and Marriage, Male Nipples: Explained!, Tweet-fu, Breakfast Socks

Outline[]

05:29 - My girlfriend spends the night at my place more often than not, and while I tolerate her hair dryer, hair straightener, and assorted other energy-guzzling accoutrement, I can't stand when she makes changes to the thermostat in the morning when I've left, and heats the condo up to tropical temperatures while nobody is home to enjoy it. I've tried asking politely, but my electric bill has gone up more than three hundred percent from December to January. What is a conservation-minded boyfriend to do? -- Chilly In Chicago

10:02 - Y - Sent in by Caroline Flynn, from Yahoo Answers user Megan, who asks:

What should I wear to a club?
Hey! I'm 19 and I'm going to a club that's for 16-20 year olds and I'm not sure what to wear. I don't want to look like a slut, but I wanna look a little sexy. There's a couple things I will not wear. I absolutely DESPISE skinny jeans, so I refuse to wear those. And as far as shoes I don't want to wear heels cuz they hurt my knees and I can't wear flats because I have yet to find ones that fit. Other then those few things I'm pretty much open to anything. I'm 5'5" and 115 lbs so I'm pretty skinny. I have a butt and boobs but neither are huge, so there's not really anything I can't wear. If you guys could maybe but links in with your answers so I can get a better idea of what you're thinking that'd be great(: thanks!(:

19:03 - I recently got out of a four year relationship. By both of our accounts we were very happy together, but my ex was never ready to commit to marriage, and I got tired of waiting (I'm 33 and he's 38 BTDubs, and this is LA if that makes a difference). I've started seeing other people. My question is: How can I avoid getting involved with another commitment-phobe? I'm definitely not desperate to get married, but I am ready to find a life partner. At what point in a new relationship should I bring this up? After a few dates, a few weeks, months? I basically want to say I only date guys that are interested in marriage, but I don't want to come across as crazy, pathetic, or desperate. What's your advice? Thanks. -- Laura

27:08 - Y - Sent in by Ron Conley, from Yahoo Answers user 2.718281828459045235360287471352662497757247093699[1], who asks:

God gave Adam nipples, intending him to be the female; then changed his mind but left the nipples on?
Many atheists used to have fun asking why God give Adam nipples, so he can help with breastfeeding?
I believe I have finally thought of the answer. God originally intended Adam to be the female, then quickly changed his mind, making Eve the female, but God decided to leave the nipples on Adam, especially since Adam had already named them.
Does this sound about right? Replies from religion scholars and others appreciated.

33:09 - MZ - Sponsored by SquareSpace. Sponsored by Pro Flowers. Personal message from Brian. Personal message from Lindsey. Advertisement for Throwing Shade.

41:25 - I've had a Twitter account for a couple of years, but I've never really used it. A year ago I was hired by a company with roots in the video game industry (I'm an artist), and a well-known company began following my little personal Twitter account, which led to several miscellaneous followers ranging from a couple YouTube stars to minor league music producers. Now I feel obligated to tweet in an attempt to build a personal brand. But what (I don't want to sound [unintelligible] boring), but I don't know how to build a decent thought around a 140 character restriction. Help me brothers: how do I tweet? -- Tongue-Tied Twitter

47:42 - Y - Sent in by Steven Shauss, from Yahoo Answers user lauren_dwan, who asks:

What's the cheapest horse?
Additional Details: I WANT A HORSE!

54:30 - I'm currently staying in a hotel now that serves complimentary breakfast in the mornings like a dummy the only shoes I brought were big ol' hiking boots for the wintery weather outside. Is it acceptable for me to just wear socks to the hotel? -- Pretty Sure I Should Be Wearing Shoes In Pittsburgh

57:54 - Housekeeping

61:14 - FY - Sent in by Andy Davenport, from Yahoo Answers user Shane Stevens, who asks:

If you ride a horse to school does the pincipal have to take care of it?

Quotes[]

Trivia[]

In the Pro Flowers advertisement, Griffin says that he has just torn off the January page on his Dilbert calendar from 1997 and realized that Valentine's Day is sooner than he thought. He specifically says "the dates don't exactly match up" but the dates in 1997 and 2014 do line up exactly; they both started on a Wednesday and neither year was a Leap Year. February 3, 2014, and February 3, 1997, were both Mondays.

Deep Cuts[]

References & Links[]

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