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"Sad Cabbage Boy's Candy Contest" was originally released on November 30, 2015.

Description

We are absolutely, undeniably on that Christmas Creep - but who's gonna be the lucky individual who gets to reverse-burglarize our homes this December the 25th? Find out in our exciting, fresh new reality series.

Suggested Talking Points

Cyber Monday, Elon Musk's Tru Santa, Gift Chores, Clownin' Without Cards, Real Estate Tips, Drunk Tattoo, 4D Books

Outline[]

00:49 - Intro - Whack Friday, You got Beezed, Elon Musk's TruSanta

11:41 - My friends got married in Vegas a few months ago, and are having a party (because their families are forcing them to) to celebrate the nuptials. They insist on not getting them a gift, but all my other friends are getting them gifts anyway. Should I honor their request? Or should I just get them a gift so I don't look like a cheapskate? -- Giftless In The Great Lakes State

15:39 - Y - Sent in by Brooks Oglesby, from Yahoo Answers user John, who asks:

Recurring nightmare I am on a Nickelodeon game show? I have a recurring nightmare I am on a children's game show like "You Can't do That on Television" or "Guts" or "Legends of the Hidden Temple". I always lose, and sometimes drown in the green slime (gak). I am not a child, but all of the other contestants are. I ahve been having these dreams almost five times a week for 3 months. I feel pretty happy in my life, so I'm not sure why I should be having these dreams!! They children are very mean and mocking, and usually cheat, or team up. Even with my adult strength and size they win. Looking for some interpretations, or advice on how to not have these dreams anymore (I'm sick of them)

22:43 - I'm a college student who is house-hunting for the first time in my life. Previously my parents chose which apartment I lived in, but now the reins are in the hands of my roommates and I. Unfortunately, finding a house or apartment that's close to campus and within our budget is a lot more difficult than we were expecting. Any tips for house hunting in a city with an extremely over-valued housing market? -- Almost Homeless In Austin

28:05 - MZ - Club W wants to know if you've killed before, Taste the Harry's travel kit, Travis' smooth genitalia, Personal message from Eleanor Haskin, Personal message from Sophie "Well Fit" Johnson, ad for Pop Rocket.

Sophie's message reads:

You wished me happy birthday? Well, I'm about two months late for yours, but baby I'm late. I'm not pregnant obviously - sex is involved - but poo poo poo, I'm drunk, I can't really afford this, love you, can't wait to see you in November. Hope you're less hideous than when last I saw you. #drunkpurchase

39:29 - Y - Sent in by Game Recognize Game Rachel Rosing, from Yahoo Answers user Turfa, who asks:

How do I make a something look like an old man was saying it? I am writting a web novel. There s an old man there. I want to make his dialogues to seem like an old man was saying it. Give me some suggestions on how to tweek genaral dialogues to make it seem like an old man was saying them.[1]

50:13 - Housekeeping

57:31 - FY - Sent in by Ira Wray (Are you Ira Wray? Who wants to know!?), from Yahoo Answers user Melonie[2], who asks:

Don't you hate people who think Barney and Fred are from Fruity Pebbles? THEY'RE FROM FLINSTONES YOU IDIOTS!!?

Quotes[]

“Each gift card should come floating in a single-sized serving, like a water balloon full of gasoline or diesel. You pop this in your tank, you explode this in your tank, and it gives you the amount of fuel you need to drive to Lowe's and back. You will spend the gift card floating inside the diesel at Lowe's. Now they're gonna smell the gift card and they are not gonna wanna take it. Also, the paint's gonna come completely off of it, because diesel, she's a hungry fluid.”
— Griffin
Let Justin make jokes! He's bored of this question, let Justin make jokes!
— Griffin
“I've been scoping your body out for months, trying to think of the perfect tatoo, and I think what we've landed on - which is Popeye's bottom half fighting a dragon that's shaped like my mother and underneath that in Sanskrit is 'Radiohead' spelled 'Pearl Jam' - I think that we've really split the uprights.”
— Griffin

References & Links[]

  1. The title goof appears in this section.
  2. Name made up by Griffin
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