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"Teach Me How to Holi-Dougie" was originally released on December 20, 2010.

Description

We've got a tight little stocking stuffer for you this week, friends. We're talking about all your different holiday traditions, and we're doing it while trying as hard as we possibly can not to curse. (Except for the first minute or so.) Share it with your loved ones! Thanks to Drew from Toothpaste For Dinner for the fresh intro song. And thanks to JPhonic for the bonus track for premium Appsperience users! And thanks to you, for listening, and being so generally rad. Happy holidays!


Outline[]

00:49 - Intro - Griffin performs "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas."

06:08 - Email - What's the best way to introduce your significant other to your drunken family at the family holiday dinner or party? Happy Holidays! -- Merry in Manhattan

10:03 - Email - What are some cheap gifts for Hanukkah I can get my friends without seeming cheap? I am in college and super poor. Any advice? -- Cara

14:02 - Email - My crazy aunt has made a list of things she wants from our relatives for Christmas. She even made my grandmom - her mom - buy a pot she wants and told her to get the money for it from me for Christmas. What do I do?[Deep Cut 1]

17:51 - Email - I think this is a classic question, but what do I get my boyfriend's parents for Christmas? We've been together for almost two years now, and I've actually spent more time at his parents' house in the last two years than at my own - I'm in grad school and he lives much closer. I want to get them something that says "thank you for letting me sleep in your son's bed without judging me too much", but not "Hi, I'd like to be your new daughter". Thanks. -- Confused at Christmastime

22:25 - Y - Sent in by Bridget, from Yahoo! Answers user Jessie, who asks:

Why do I feel like I am a car?
For some reason I have an obsession where I know I am a car. Mostly a Mercedes Benz or a BMW. Like, I will be running and stop all of the sudden while doing my tire brake sound effect and act like I am slamming on my brakes on the interstate. I also like to make the BMW face while taking off really fast and taking off while doing the sound effects. Is it normal that I feel like I am truly born a car, like a BMW or a Mercedes?


27:52 - Email - Hey guys, my sister-in-law is pregnant. Not only does she want to put one of her sonogram pictures on her Christmas cards this year, she wants to Photoshop a little Santa hat on her unborn child. How do we politely explain to her that this is the worst idea ever?

29:51 - Email - I watch Die Hard every Christmas Eve, and have done so for the past decade or so. It's been a long-standing tradition, after one year when it was the only Christmas-related movie I had not watched by Christmas Eve. Nothing gets me more pumped for that special day than watching Bruce Willis kill German thieves. Would you consider Die Hard a Christmas movie, and is this tradition as awesome I think it is, or is it just plain weird? -- McClane at Merrymas

31:39 - Email - I feel that, around the holidays, people start crushing harder on others. My theory is that the cold weather increases the like factor. Am I crazy for this holiday like theory, or do you find this true as well, Griffin?

33:51 - Email - Hey guys, I'm driving with my best friend, who is like my brother, from NYC to Ohio for Christmas. Normally other people are there, so I just sit in the back and read with my iPod on. Since it will just be he and I, I'll have to interact. What are some fun things the brothers McElroy do on long car rides? -- Road Trippin'

39:09 - Email - My husband's family has a Christmas morning tradition of putting the baby Jesus into the crib in the Nativity and the whole family sings Happy Birthday to Jesus. I think this is strange, but my husband grew up with this tradition, so he thinks it's normal. Could you guys clear things up and tell us, is it weird?

40:48 - Email - A friend of mine recently told me she's planning on getting gifts for me and a few of our friends for Christmas. I told her that getting friends gifts wasn't a thing we usually did, and she said she just had some ideas in mind and rarely gets to shop for guys, and she isn't expecting or wanting something in return. Should I run out and get something and tell our friends what she's planning or just let her give gifts as she pleases? -- Stumped in Suburbia

43:41 - Y - Sent in by MaddyB, from Yahoo! Answers user Ra, who asks:

Would your parents explain Sex if you put it in your Christmas wish list?
I'm 20 and I'm still awful at it


47:08 - Email - I need an idea for a new holiday tradition for me and my husband. This is our first Christmas as a married couple. Also, we're really non-traditional, so go crazy, brothers - we're looking for fun.[Note 1] -- In Need of Holiday Cheer

50:38 - Y - From Yahoo! Answers user ballsw, who asks:

How can I tell my 9 year old son I'm not going to like his Christmas present?
I found my Christmas present in his room when I was snooping. How can I tell him that I don't really want a mug?


54:25 - Housekeeping

57:32 - FY - Sent in by Dante, from Yahoo! Answers user Shane Fargo, who asks:

My veins spell out KING. my middle name is king aswell. any significance? very serious about this matter..?
hi i know this sounds kinda akward or crazy but on my left rist my veins spell out the letters K I and on my right wrist my veins spell out N G . my middle name is infact KING. ive noticed this for the last 2 years and it will never go away it seems like. i know my family is related to royalty, i just want to know if this is common or if im just a king without his crown?
Additional Details: im serious about this matter. and nobody seems to care or give me a right answer. i see it about every day of my life and i know this is rare and not even suspected could be true by most people. i need some advice from a vein specialist or someone who know anything about this matter. thx for your time


Quotes[]

On Wishing For An Explanation of Sex[]

“Oh, wow, so, you are like, wanting sex TIPS?”
— Justin

Trivia[]

  1. Justin describes his recipe for Christmas Wreaths.

Deep Cuts[]

  1. Griffin adapts lyrics from What a Girl Wants by Christina Aguilera in this segment.

References & Links[]

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