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"Gatorade Weak" was originally released on June 19, 2017.

Description

Wait, don't tell us you're STILL chugging that full-power, unfiltered sports beverage? Listen: Nobody needs that much energy. Why not come down to our level with a smooth glass of a soothing Gatorade alternative? One for poet-types, and brain-thinkers!

Suggested Talking Points

The Cream Cheese Incident, Apple Juice Marketing, Subway Connections, Blapron, Sperm Maze, Go-To Sillyness

Outline[]

0:45 - Intro - We've come full circle, Dunking on MBMBaM Episode 1, Cool Dave Thomas stories

10:30 - Email - How much cream cheese should I put on my bagel? - Cream Cheese Confounded

18:24 - Y - Sent in by Amelia Burger, from Yahoo Answers user kevinzak, who asks:[Note 1]

How do we make apple juice more relevant to adult consumers?
Our company has been pressing apples and making apple juice for generations. All of the apple juice we make is pure, not from concentrate, pressed from local apples and sold shelf-stable, not chilled.
We sell our apple juice in four different pack sizes: 1 liter (our best-selling format), a 5-pack of 7-ounce juice boxes, a 128 ounce jug, and a 46 ounce bottle.
The primary consumer of apple juice has traditionally been kids. Concern around the sugar content of juice, along with the ageing population and households having fewer kids has led to apple juice declines in recent years.
Apple Juice is loaded with health benefits that are relevant to adults, yet it has never been directly targeted or promoted to them. The pure and local nature of our apple juice is on trend with the today’s adult consumer.
Note: Solutions with alcohol are not compatible with our brand.[Note 2]

28:57 - Email - I work in a hospital, and today I went to a subway down the street for lunch. I had my headphones in listening to MBMBaM while I was eating, and while I was walking back to work, I took off my headphones when I walked in the door, and apparently a doctor had been following behind me and asked me what I got from Subway. I had no idea who this doctor was, and I just responded that I got a Meatball sammy. He told me his favorite is the Chicken Teriyaki, and continued to tell me that the previous week, there was a special where you could get lobster at subway. Then he just walked away, and didn't say anything else. I don't know what the hell just happened to me, please help! -- Confused in Cincinnati

34:48 - The Money Zone - Casper has sinned to deliver you mattresses, Blapron is Blue Apron for people on the go,[Note 3] Personal message from Logan, Personal message from Julia, ad for Adam Ruins Everything.

39:31 - Y - Sent in by Ryan P. Fami [spelling?], asked by a Yahoo Answers user with no name, who asks:

Should I invent a contraption that only the very smart sperm cells are able to make it through?
I am a scientist. I therefore want to invent some sort of maze that sperm cells have to move through. The problem with this maze is that only the most intelligent sperm cells will be able to make it through this maze. Therefore, since only the most intelligent sperm cells will make it through the maze, the egg will only be fertilized by the most intelligent sperm. And an egg fertilized by an intelligent sperm cell will make a super intelligent baby.

43:11 - Email - Whenever I am part of a group photo, inevitably somebody says "Okay, now let's do a silly one." I never know what to do for these, and usually just end up making a face that looks like I'm in pain. Any help for what could be my thing? -- Sans Silly in San Francisco

51:33 - Housekeeping

54:28 - FY - Sent in by Level 9000 YaDrew Druid Drew Davenport, from YaDrew Answers user Juan Colt, who asks:

What gun can u picture ash with from Pokemon?

Quotes[]

On Jugglers[]

“By the way, everybody, just a heads up: Barnum & Bailey shut down, so be on the lookout for clowns and jugglers just roaming the street like wild animals.”
— Justin
“Appreciate at a distance the majestic danger of the juggler.”
— Travis

Notes[]

  1. As noted by Travis, this question was read in the previous episode. Griffin defends the repetition by pointing out that they hadn't actually answered the question.
  2. The title goof appears in this section.
  3. Justin registered blapron.com while Travis was doing this ad read.
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