"Fluffybutt Acres" was originally released on April 4, 2022.
Description
We’d like to introduce our new (old?) middlest brother, Steve(n) Johnson. He’s super aloof, loves dangerous candy, and is the CEO.
Suggested Talking Points
Professor Gadzooks, Donut Hush Money, Hawk Raisins, Stack of Things, Subwayne and the Sand Witch
Transgender Law Center: https://transgenderlawcenter.org/
Outline[]
1:09 - Intro - A bigger deeper instrument, Stan Lee's comic fortune, Justin's jizzies
8:26 - Email - I recently left my job, and as a departing gift, my old employer had given me a $100 gift card to a local Canadian coffee/donut shop. It was sent to me via email - the only thing is, it was sent to my work email, and I hadn't realized this until now. The problem is that it's been almost a month since I left that job. Is that money gone now? What do I do? -- Cardless in Canada.
19:46 - Wizard of the Cloud - How to Get Your Little Brother to Stop Bugging You -- Tory. Justin introduces the segment with a little ditty, with an assist from Griffin:
We're... off to see the Wizard, the magical Wizard of Cloud
Here he is, the Wizard a whiz, just like Chris O'Dowd
Remember him from Bridesmaids? He was in the IT Crowd!
37:34 - MZ - Buy croissant toast from Imperfect Foods or your kids won't love you anymore, Use Squarespace to make a new better Squarespace, ad for Reading Glasses, ad for Wonderful
44:19 - Email - My father won't let us get chickens despite myself, my mother, and the rest of our family desperately wanting to raise some. We have the funds, the space (a big yard in the suburbs), and a chicken-loving attitude. There is no reason he should be saying no, and yet here we are. Brothers, what can I do to convince my father to let us own some hens? -- Clueless as to Why We're Cluckless in Metro Detroit. [Note 2]
54:53 - Munch Squad - I wanna Munch!
- Pt. I: Dairy Queen has Stackburgers, an innovative new vertical burger.
- Pt. II: Subway expands into consumer goods with apparel and collectible toys. The brothers can only assume this means a Jared Fogle figurine. They come up with new characters to prevent this, like The Sand Witch, Tom Ato, and Footlong Phil, who has a big
schlongsandwich. - Pt. III: Subway debuts an RPG where kids can make sandwiches.
1:03:23 - Housekeeping
1:06:13 - Closing Impressions - Griffin does a Darth Vader impression.
Quotes[]
- “What's up fucking ugly numbnuts? Dirtbag numbnut asshole shrimp dick assholes. April Fool's Day!”
- — Griffin
- “True virility is deciding not to nut.”
- — Travis, on Justin's vasectomy (not incel pseudoscience)
- “If your brother annoys you and bugs you all the time, you could do what I've done and spend a long time, many decades, making yourself have a weird sense of humor and... being a little bit weird and maybe give yourself a weird voice that's hard to listen to for a long time, and then eventually your brother's like 'You know what? I'm good. I'm just gonna go over here. I'm gonna move to Texas.' Something like that.”
- — Travis
- “Like Charlie Sheen before me, I am speaking truth to the powers that be.”
- — Justin
On Pranking Clint McElroy[]
- “Hey, it's me your doctor. The tests are looking great, no need to worry about that, but you do need to come in again so we can do it deeper.”
- — definitely Clint's doctor
- “We need to push harder and it's going to be wider this time.”
- — still definitely Clint's doctor
On Tim Hortons Dumping All Your Donuts in Dirty Mop Water[]
- “It's not 1950; no business cares about any individual experience, period. They don't care. They would rather pull out a bucket of dirty mop water and shove all your donuts into it, and you tweet about it once and they're like 'So sorry you had a bad experience.'”
- — Justin
- “That is NOT company policy. We actually have signs telling people not to do that. We're definitely going to look into this.”
- — Tim Hortons customer service
- “Aw that sucks, sorry. Can you DM us with more details of the experience?”
“Yeah he dumped all my donuts into the dirty mop water!”
“I'm so sorry, I hate that for you.” - — Tim Hortons customer service & Griffin
- “From mop water didst they come, to mop watersts willst theyst return.”
- — Griffin
Notes[]
| Previous Episode Episode 603: A Cold One Between the S... |
Episode List | Next Episode Episode 605: Could You Fight a Horse? |
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