"GooMail Me" was originally released on August 15, 2022.
Description
Extremely important breaking news: Justin has a new very pretty kitty. Absolutely nothing else matters, not forwarding that evil chain letter, not eating revolutionary French toast, not learning to whistle better. Nothing.
Suggested Talking Points
Grizabella the Pretty Kitty, Victorian Skeleton Well Boy, My Eyes Are Gleaking, Unlock the Old Man Krav Maga Poem, Social Interaction Cheat Codes
Center for Reproductive Rights: https://reproductiverights.org/
Outline[]
Justin's Got a Pretty New Kitty - MBMBaM Video Clips
Olive/Olivia (feat. precious toe beans)
1:13 - Intro - Pretty new kitty, Mr. Bigglesworth, Hank the Cowdog
10:10 - Email - I'm in the process of moving and I have no chairs to sit on and eat in my place now. I ordered pizza for me and my roommates. And then they left to get drinks while I waited. Now, the delivery driver has given me the large 24 inch pizza. The only place to put it and eat is on the ground, in the living room. The living room has a huge window, which [the driver] can clearly see me from, and he has been sitting in his car for about three minutes. And I've just been standing with the pizza behind a column, so he won't see me sitting on the floor. Is this ridiculous? Should I care this much, or just do it? I'm so very hungry. Again, this is a LARGE 24-INCH PIZZA. -- [Sender not mentioned.]
17:46 - Wizard of the Cloud - How to Not Get Creeped Out by a Chain Letter -- Stephan.[Note 1][Note 2]
33:16 - MZ - Tell your friends about Squarespace and you'll get huge and rich and so will your dick, ad for Comfort Creatures, ad for Sawbones
38:22 - Macho Man Randy Savage Destroys Toxic Masculinity with the best quote of all time.
40:16 - Email - I train and teach at a local Krav Maga gym. Recently, we had a 78-year-old man join our gym. He came to one of my classes but ended up leaving after about 20 minutes. The next day, at another instructor's class, he came up to me and said, "I wrote a poem about your class yesterday. Do you wanna see?" I said, "Okay." Then he went out to his car. But instead of getting the poem, he drove away. We have seen one another multiple times since then. But neither of us have mentioned this poem. Brothers, how can I unlock the old man Krav Maga poem? -- Troubled in Tennessee.
49:06 - Munch Squad - ...Squad!
- Pt. I: Krystal partners with Ray J to celebrate new late night menu
- Pt. II: Wendy's debuts homestyle French toast sticks
1:00:07 - Housekeeping
1:03:07 - How Do We End It? - The brothers discuss how to end the show going forward. This week, it's a skit about Jamba Juice done over Justin's protests.
Quotes[]
- “Anyway, you boys can see behind me, I have nothing.”
- — Griffin, on his barren new home in DC immediately post-move[Note 3]
- “It's okay for macho men to show every emotion available. Because I've cried 1,000 times and I'm gonna cry some more. But I've soared with the eagles and I've slithered with the snakes, and I've been everywhere in between. And I'm gonna tell you something right now. There's one guarantee in life: that there are no guarantees, yeah. And understand this: Nobody likes a quitter. Nobody said life was easy. So, if you get knocked down, take the standing eight count, get back up and fight again! Then you're a Macho Maniac. Dig it.”
- — Macho Man Randy Savage
Justin: Travis here. Any new tests today? Travis: I've got a gun. Justin: Well I've got a— I've got a sword gun. Travis: Damn it. Yeah, you win. Griffin: I wanna be in this skit. Justin: Oh hey, who's that at your door? Travis: Oh, this is my little brother, Griffin. He's recording a podcast with me. Griffin: Hey. What's up? Justin: Hi, Griffin. Griffin: You like guns? Travis: He's got a gun too. Griffin: I have a sword gun. Travis: Yeah, look out. He's got a sword gun. And he loves tests. Griffin: This is one of the worst skits we've ever done, if I may.
On Victorian Well Boy[]
- “Smash that like button. Forward it to 10 friends. Or the skeleton boy is gonna well you. Really hard.”
- — Griffin
- “Nice try, tiny Victorian skeleton boy. But you will never get me to go in that well 'cause you're not real. And I know that.”
- — Griffin
- “I don't think you get to be a Victorian well boy skeleton child without being a little bit jaded.”
- — Travis
- “She was adorable and evil. She'll forward every fucking letter she receives. This kid forwards Menards flyers that she gets, just to be extra careful. She's not going back to the well. That's what I live for. That's why I'm in this business, brother.”
- — Well Boy, on the one that got away
Notes[]
- ↑ The title goof appears in this section.
- ↑ In discussing how to continue passing on chain letters without propagating them, Justin suggests a group called The Unbroken Chain, consisting of 13 people who agree to contain all chain letters by sending them to each other. Travis points out that this is also the name of the secret society from TAZ: Graduation, at which Justin and Travis agree that this is how they got started.
- ↑ For visual proof of this, watch the video above.
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