"Brush Your Teeth Because Coyotes" was originally released on September 12, 2022.
Description
People love making jokes about the movie Ghost, but we can do better. We’re pitching a reboot with like, Rooney Mara. Or . . . Helen Mirren? And what if it wasn’t a ghost, but a mummy? Or like, a Frankenstein? And not pottery, but a magic mirror that shows you the moment of your death? Wait, hang on, this is too good to share. Forget we said any of this.
Suggested Talking Points
Spittlest Brother, Big Beefy Sandwiches, Cashing Chicken Cheques, God’s Not Dead He’s at Wingstop, I Can Moan; I’m a Man, Do You Fuck Ghosts At Your Job?
Earthjustice: https://earthjustice.org/
Outline[]
1:09 - Intro - Harold Stylish, Chris Pine's drama dick, They're just like us
12:40 - Email - My son is a year and a half old. We've been lucky to have a lot of gifts sent to him from generous family and friends. However, there's one problem. People keep sending in personalized piggy banks. We're now at four piggy banks and we're running out of places to keep these things. The second piggy bank was funny. After the third piggy bank, I thought "Surely we won't get any more." But they still keep coming. We can't sell them, 'cause they have our son's full name and birthdate on them. Brothers, please, what do we do about all these banks? -- Piggy Bank Plethora. [Note 1]
How To Moan - MBMBaM Video Clips
Five minutes of three men moaning.
26:58 - Wizard of the Cloud - How to Moan -- Dylan.
32:33 - MZ - Fit is good with Stitchfix, ad for Let's Learn Everything, ad for The Greatest Generation
36:24 - Munch Squad - ...Squad!
- Pt. I: McDonald's introduces cheese danish to its bakery lineup, and feels quite smug for not doing pumpkin spice anything.
- Pt. II: Wingstop debuts new chicken sandwich and sells out of it in 6 days, which is definitely a sign of how good it is and not a supply chain issue.
45:18 - Email - I'm a potter from Brisbane, Australia. And I come to you, the wisest of boys for advice. Every time I meet someone new and they ask me what I do, I'm always met with some variation of the same line when I tell them I'm a potter: They say, "Like in Ghost?" This is something I can laugh off at first. But now, I find myself grinding my teeth waiting for the inevitable, "Ha-ha, do you and you husband ever do the Ghost thing?" every time I tell them what I do. Even fellow artists have asked me this. Brothers, how can I tell people my profession without them thinking that I'm getting nasty with some crazy Swayze fantasies? Also, should I watch Ghost? Seems like a culturally relevant flick. -- Sorry, Ghost, I Don't Like You Like That.
55:21 - Housekeeping
58:17 - Inspirational Quote - Griffin gives us his highly personal inspirational message.
Quotes[]
- “Now, Justin, when you say the phrase, 'When you go through the Magic Tunnel as much as I do,' do you know like how many... Like, my mind is boggled by how many different things that could be a euphemism for.”
- — Travis, on Justin's infinite car wash pass
- “'Remember that there is no right or wrong way to moan'? We have proven that to be categorically untrue. There may only be like four correct ways to moan. And then an infinite spectrum of bad and wrong ways to moan.”
- — Griffin
- “God's not dead. He's at Wingstop.”
- — Justin
- “Don't let anybody push you around. Don't let anybody push you around into doing bits that you don't wanna do anymore. Don't let anybody tell you you have to do bits that you don't wanna do anymore. 'Cause you don't fuckin' have to. You were here at the same time as everyone else. You were here at the same time as everyone else. It's not like you were last to call your seat in the car and so you have to do a bit at the end of the show for 12 fucking years. You don't have to do that anymore.”
- — Griffin's inspirational quote of the week
On Getting Coyotes High and Using Them to Threaten Your Children[]
Justin: I got a huge garbage bag full of dog biscuits at my house. I'm not even worried about coyotes 'cause I throw that out there. That's gonna keep 'em busy all day long. Griffin: Well, it'll also turn your house into a fucking coyote hang zone. Justin: I put weed in the dog biscuits. Griffin: That's not an okay thing to say, but go ahead. Justin: For coyotes? They kill the deer around the house. They ate all my sweet blackberries. Griffin: And for that, they deserve death. I agree.
- “These terrible coyotes, they'll attack children if they're out there. And my kids know about this. So, they're kind of worried about it. And man, I gotta say, I don't have to fight with my kids about coming inside or listening to me, really, at all. They don't listen to me when I say, 'Hey, come inside. It's time to go get ready for bed.' But they'll listen to the coyotes.”
- — Justin
- “I wish there were indoor coyotes. I can't threaten my kids with a dog.”
- — Justin
On Making Pottery While a Ghost Fucks You[]
- “What about you? Do you ever fuck ghosts at your job? I don't come to your job and tell you to fuck ghosts and how to do it.”
- — an upset potter
- “It's actually pretty hard to stabilize some clay you just threw down on a wheel when someone is trying to spoon you, sort of sitting up, spectrally.”
- — Griffin
Notes[]
- ↑ The title goof appears in this section, near the end just before the Wizard.
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