Episode 633: And it Was Fingers

And it Was Fingers

Length

1:02:22

Date

October 24, 2022

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"And it Was Fingers" was originally released on October 24, 2022.

Description

Gather round the fire as the boys teach everyone how to make a scary Halloween special, full of ghosts, mummies, that one vampire (you know the one), and that creeping crawling feeling of shame.

Suggested Talking Points

Suggested talking points: Mummy’s Maze, Popular Dads, Now That’s What Used to Be Called Music, The No-No Crypt, Shrimp Vortex, Land-Based Restaurant Business

Fair Elections Center: https://www.fairelectionscenter.org/

Outline[]

The brothers have for us a special Halloween-themed episode.

1:14 - Mummy's Maze - Griffin has a bit. Justin and Travis immediately throw everything else they prepared for this episode in the fucking garbage.

Round 1: Under Wraps. Mummy Griffin has a secret, and makes his brothers guess it. Justin wins by guessing Griffin is just all scarabs.
Round 2: The Pyramid of Shame. The brothers have to say what they're super ashamed about. Griffin doesn't get invited to parties very much. Travis has been telling other dads not to invite Griffin to parties. Justin says that, in his younger days, he was not as thoughtful of a person and didn't think as much about other people as he could have. Travis then goes again and says he's not really excited about the new Top Gun.
Round 3: Under Wraps.[sic] Justin has 10 seconds to turn himself into a mummy using toilet paper. Travis doesn't have enough TP to waste. Justin wins the Mummy's Maze.

12:09 - Email - I need some advice regarding taxonomical accuracy. Does the term werewolf describe only the monstrous wolf creature of supernatural lore? Or does it describe both the monster and the seemingly innocuous person who becomes that monster? Is a werewolf who is in her human form still a werewolf? -- Lady Lycanthrope Labeler in London, Ontario.

15:41 - Wizard of the Cloud - How to Live in a Haunted House^{[Note 1]} -- Zach.

29:26 - Email - I'm having people over to my apartment over for Halloween and I've realized that I don't know any good ghost stories to tell. I wanna set the tone for the evening with something scary-spooky, but I'm at a loss. Do you have any good ghost stories I can use? Alternatively, do you have a formula for a badass ghost story? -- Uninspired in Arizona.^{[Note 2]}

38:04 - MZ - Sell pictures of Mark Ruffalo in gym shorts with Squarespace, Honey is your National Treasure sidekick, ad for Bullseye.

41:30 - Munch Squad - Hosted by Count Donut, who brings us news of Las Vegas-area donut seller Pink Box and their "very long list of creepy doughnuts of varying degrees of sanity." Count Donut tells us more about himself as well, including that he:

poops hair
has a rat familiar named Beulah who uploads donut pictures to the internet
doesn't know what fish are
lacks object permanence
is married to Drew Barrymore
lives on a houseboat
is singlehandedly responsible for opening the Shrimp Vortex and beginning Endless Shrimp Fest at Red Lobster, which he does by slicing open his palm and letting three drops of blood fall onto "the tablet"

57:23 - Housekeeping

59:35 - Inspirational Quote - Justin tells us you can always go trick or treating. Unless you can't. Really it's "more of an observation."

Quotes[]

“One day, I will be a ghost. So like, by that logic, I'm a ghost already.”

— Griffin, on calling an innocuous dude a werewolf

“A great element for a badass ghost story is if you keel over dead at the end of the story. And a ghost comes out of your body and like, screams.”

— Griffin

“I at one point forgot how to read and I've never thought to relearn. I have no cause for knowledge. I thirst only for blood.”

— Count Donut

“You're telling me shrimp don't have souls? Then how do they reach shrimp heaven?”