"Trans rights. Obviously" -Justin McElroy
- "Justin" redirects here. For other people, see Justin (disambiguation).
|"This isn't anything!"
The following is written for the purpose of entertainment, from a skewed perspective, with very little restriction on what can or can't be added. For a more factual take on the person, see Justin McElroy/Serious
Justin Tyler "Houston's Native Son" McElroy is a co-host of My Brother, My Brother and Me. He is the oldest brother of Travis McElroy and Griffin McElroy, and son of Clint McElroy. Justin "Houston's Native Son" McElroy was a founding Editor-At-Large (meaning editor on the loose–an editor who cannot be contained; a wild and free editor whomst roams the wilderness) of Polygon (the video-game/ pop-culture site of Vox media). Justin and Griffin left Polygon in 2018, but implied they'd still appear in/contribute to video content.
He had a case of the Mondays!! He had those old Monday blues!! He was just trying to chase em away!!!
Is he haunted?? Is he fucking POSSESSED?!?!?!?!??!? HE USED TO BE GRIFFIN'S BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!
He also used to vape. #vapenash
Also, he is good out here.
He is permanently bonded with the equally eternal beach man Jimmy "James" Buffett.
Any gifts to him can be sent to:
P.O. Box 54
Huntington, West Virginia 25706
Justin has worked at Blockbuster, twice. He first got the job at age 16 and later quit on his own terms, but the second time, he was fired for stealing a copy of Fight Club which he says, "was a very Tyler Durden thing to do." The copy he stole had been set aside for the store owner to purchase. While working there, he faked an allergy to Windex in order to get out of cleaning tasks.
He also worked at several stores within the Huntington Mall: Best Buy, Olive Garden, Babbage's, and Toys 'R' Us.
What's up everybody? His name is Root Beer Surge and he's a cool teen just like you!
Justin "Houston's Native Son" McElroy is married to Dr. Sydnee McElroy (much beloved by all). They have a podcast, Sawbones, where they take a "marital tour of misguided medicine". They have a sweet angel daughter called Charlie who will, quote, "punch the moon!" They also have a new one, named Cooper. She (allegedly) poops a lot.
Justin McElroy has never shown any sign of aging, because he is the eternal brother.
He possesses a "Nut Jar," which he fills with his own combination of nuts instead of buying mixed nuts on his own.
He can beat you up, he just doesn't want to. But you're on thin fucking ice, buddy.
He has been hit by both Griffin and Travis, but this is because he has allowed them to.
Justin "Juice" McElroy is the Huey of the McElroy three, and thus takes on the duty of being the most responsible for his two baby brothers. Justin "Island Boy" McElroy is also the only McElroy (including their dad) to not use glasses, which is because he leeched up their eye power when he was young to make himself the most powerful brother. it did not work. Travis still reigns as the supreme boy (as evidenced by his viking-esque beard), although he is not eternal like Justin "J-man" McElroy.
He's shaped like a friend and sings sometimes, but it has to be a blue moon for him not to sing any of the masterworks by his dear friend, the equally eternal James Buffett. Half the shirts he owns are Tybee Island model, given to him by family. Beach shirts relax him.
When Lin-Manuel Miranda ascends into the McElroy family, as it has been foretold, he will actually become the older-middlest brother, in spite of Lin being older than Justin "Babyface" McElroy. This is because the McElroys actually measure age in how many cheesy palm print shirts they own, rather than time. That's why Griffin always will remain in Forbes 30 under 30, since Griffin owns only cool cat shirts.
The only way to kill Justin McElroy, as revealed by Griffin in Episode 146, "is to poison him with the bio-toxin while he's drowning and being electrocuted."
Justin can only be damaged at the end of his third attack phase, after firing his bow six times. Once he has been attacked in this phase, he will stumble back into the eel tank, at which point he will open his mouth. If the player successfully shoots it with a poison aspect weapon, he will take between 35 and 50 damage. He is weak to poison damage.
Everything he ever does is completely valid.
He's surprisingly short. In fact, every single McElroy except Travis is shorter than you think they are. Fortunately, Juice's raw power makes up for this.
- The Money Zone
- The Billing Department
- Farm Wisdom
- Haunted Doll Watch
- Munch Squad
- That's a Christmas to Me
- Minion Quotes (formerly on this page as 'idk what the stitch thing is called')
Though it has been some time since Justin "Root Beer Surge" McElroy utilized this particular technique, he once frequently utilized “putting some jelly on it” as a deterrent/prank. The greatest prank he has ever pulled, however, is making the enraptured audience believe we can actually hear him and the podcast is not two brothers rambling with the shared voice in their heads. We hear him too, you see. That voice in your head, that you are listening to right now? A fearsome hivemind-esque creature only known as Justin "Hoops" McElroy.
Justin "Houston's Native Son" McElroy's notable impressions include Edward Snowden, Amelie, and vocaloid superstar Hatsune Miku. Most recently debuting his Steve Martin impression, which he learned from personal, 1-2-1 Skype sessions with Steve Fartin himself.
Starting around Episode 196, Justin "Alpha" McElroy became obsessed with his current rival, the equally eternal James "Jimmy" Buffett. This has escalated to the point where it dominates his Spotify account, much to the shame and disappointment of Griffin.
Older-middlest brother Lin-Manuel Miranda used his Broadway Icon Powers to allow the eternal beach man James Buffett and Justin "Houston's Native Son" McElroy to meet for Justin's birthday. During this meeting, Justin "The Kid" McElroy and James likely formed an Island Bond, through Justin "Pasta Man" McElroy's good Island Boy vibes, which may have charmed Mr. Jimmy Buffett into accepting the role of a Guestspert on the podcast. This is only a theory, but many believe that the equally eternal Jimmy Buffett is an all powerful ocean spirit that makes his own decisions, therefore he could have decided to be a guestspert with or without an Island Bond.
- The Adventure Zone (with Griffin, Travis and Clint McElroy; MaxFun)
- Sawbones (with Dr. Sydnee McElroy; MaxFun)
- The Empty Bowl (Independently created with Dan Goubert)
- Til Death Do Us Blart (annually, for all-time)
- Monster Factory (video series)
- Munch Squad (purportedly a "podcast within a podcast")
- Charlie and Daddy Show (with his daughter, Charlie; occasionally posted to the Family channel)
- The Besties (with Griffin, Chris Plante, and Russ Frushtick)
- Bad Vibes (narrator)
- The McElroy Brothers Will Be In Trolls: World Tour (completed)
- Joystiq Podcast (discontinued)
- Losing The Sheen (discontinued)
- Satellite Dish with Justin and Sydnee (discontinued)
- Things I Bought At Sheetz (with Dwight Slappe; video series, discontinued)
- Taste of Luxury (with Dwight Slappe; video series, completed)
- Quality Control (Polygon; passed the buck to Charlie Hall)
- Smart Stuff (with Roman Mars; fictional)
- The Time Belt
- Crazy For Pages (fictional)
- My Melody, My Melody and Me - An Improvisational Songwriting Show (fictional)
- Kayfabulous (fictional)
Some Good JPEGs
- Justin & Sydnee say trans rights in a livestream.
- Justin "Alpha" McElroy is the next Tester
- Karaoke name mentioned in Episode 104
- Radio DJ name mentioned in Episode 124
- From the TV show
- From Episode 293
- From Episode 416
- From The Adventure Zone
- Name mentioned in Episode 367
- From Episode 47
- Currently down as of Jan 17, 21. Wayback Machine Mirror
- From Episode 196
- From Episode 240
- First mentioned in Episode 337
- From Episode 360
- From Episode 365
- First mentioned in Episode 390
- From Episode 462
- From Episode 432
- From Episode 437
- From Episode 457
- No longer for sale as of at least November 7, 2020, but the redirect still works
- From Episode 531
- From Episode 542
- Mentioned in Episode 284
- From Episode 220
- Kidsmag! covering CES 1992 via Polygon
- Episode 269
- Everybody Has A Podcast (Except You)
- Episode 361
- Episode 442
- Justin first mentions his intent to take Taekwondo classes in Episode 336.
- Justin most recently mentioned being a Blue Belt in Episode 467.
- From MaxFunCon2019 Q&A
- From Episode 532
- Hatsune Miku appears in Episode 221.
- Episode 380
- Episode 383
- Though a 90 second demo was made and could be listened to here. Video removed from YouTube, no known alternate source.
- Made up in Sawbones E301: Taint Tanning and Heliotherapy
- Made up in Episode 33: Bramblepelt
- Made up in Episode 98: Two 'til Tulsa