| Wish
|
Episode
|
| I wish they made Milk Duds better. Like, how do you keep fucking up chocolate and caramel?
|
Episode 696: Robo Wants an Oreo
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| I wish my girlfriend would try a Dorito, even just once.
|
Episode 697: Vamples
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| I wish there were more candy shaped like vegetables. Why are there only beans?!
|
Episode 698: Don’t Piss on a Shark
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| I wish that I would keep running in to the circle-shaped raccoon who lives in the garbage cans behind my apartment.
|
Episode 699: The Platonic Dad
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| Please bring back Altoids Sours. Any flavor would be great, but I miss the Tangerine most of all.
|
Episode 700: Good Choices Today, Business Man
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| I wish my cat would knock it off.
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Episode 701: Party Panda
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| I wish ice cream was just a little bit less cold.
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Episode 702: Accountability For Crazy Puffs
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| I wish flossing wasn't so boring.
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Episode 703: GDP: Good Darn Podcasts
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| I wish we didn't have to sleep.
|
Episode 704: Cheques Mix
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| I wish my middle school students would stop calling me Skibbidi Malone.[1]
|
Episode 705: Crispy Cuppy Puppies
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| I wish Charleston Chews were just a little less chewy.
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Episode 706: Climax, Denouement, Spider-Man Test
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| I wish my bird would stop biting my nipples.
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Episode 707: Beef Me Down to Beefy Town
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| I wish I could tell the different Transformers characters apart.
|
Episode 708: Make those Bills Rainable
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| I wish that candy corn didn’t make you feel like that afterwards.
|
Episode 709: Face 2 Face: Personal Hot Dog Thermos
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| I wish my dog would stop acting like I’m the villain when I put on his harness.
|
| I wish I was the type of person that buys tastier gummy vitamins.
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| Please make my father stop bringing home deli-sized logs of salami!
|
| I wish my dad would stop buying china cabinets.
|
| Please, please let me do one, one hit at work with the giant blow up Tootsy Pop!
|
| I wish the children at the library would stop asking me if we have Roblox on the computers.
|
| I wish that bugs were slightly bigger, so that I wouldn’t have to worry about losing track of them. It would also be kind of cool!
|
| Fungalore, please make them put the rat hole back.
|
| I wish my child would stop rating family farts.
|
Episode 710: Colin from Secret Garden Energy
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| I wish the coffee machine at work was more discreet.
|
Episode 711: Notice Me, Jerry Senpai
|
| I wish that all falafel was just a little bit cheaper.
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Episode 712: Face 2 Face: Pay the Mustard Forward
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| I wish gummy bears didn’t get hard when you put them on ice cream.
|
| I wish meteorologists used my name when naming hurricanes.
|
| I wish every movie was like Dawn of the Planets of the Apes.
|
| I wish I could get the Kit-Kat bar song out of my head.
|
| I wish my boss would finally let me put a lava lamp in the break room.
|
| I wish my lizard would poop when I told him to.
|
| I wish they made eraser sharpeners.
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| I wish my art students would stop forcing me to draw Master Chief from Halo.
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| I wish the McElroys knew about the axolotl I recently met named Lil' Mayonnaise.
|
Episode 713: Speed Force Bear
|
| I wish WebKinz would stop charging real money for virtual furniture.
|
Episode 714: Snoopy’s Boy Chuck
|
| I wish my students would stop calling me a ‘Cocomelon-head looking ass.’[1]
|
Episode 715: What if it IS Piss Man?
|
| I wish blood pressure machines had a more satisfying ending.[2]
|
Episode 716: Fresh Cold Not Dogs
|
| I wish Mamma Mia 2 had respected the lore in Mamma Mia 1.
|
Episode 717: Face 2 Face: Spectral Gentleman Caller James Griffin
|
| I wish the song 'Born in the USA' was maybe 40 seconds shorter.
|
Episode 718: Shaq-cuse!
|
| I wish Sam Neill was in even more movies.
|
Episode 719: Neon Grimacis Evangelion
|
| I wish I could buy smaller quantities of lettuce at the grocery store.[3]
|
Episode 720: Mariana Trench Warfare
|
| I wish automatic toilets would chill out.
|
Episode 721: Face 2 Face: Cotton Candy Cenneth
|
| I wish immortality was real, so that Columbo could be on TV forever.
|
Episode 722: Are You Public Speaking?
|
| I wish Jolly Ranchers were easier to get out of the wrapper.
|
Episode 723: Face 2 Face: Cuck Cuck Goose
|
| I wish I knew what did impress Shania Twain.
|
Episode 724: This Mouth Sound is Gonna Change Your Life
|
| I wish restaurants got more creative with mushrooms.
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Episode 725: Fevers Named After Colors
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| I wish I would stop saying Yabba Dabba Doo.
|
Episode 726: Hot Dog Think Appointment
|
| I wish I could buy smaller quantities of celery.[3]
|
Episode 727: A Great Day for Brotherhood
|
| I wish my cat could know what it means when I flip him off.
|
Episode 728: Hold-You-Down Christian Rock ‘n’ Roll Daddy
|
| I wish raisins could just be grapes again.
|
Episode 729: Put a Slim Jim in My Coin Hole
|
| I wish I could stop farting while I'm in the puppet.
|
Episode 730: Reverse Liar Liar
|
| I wish more dive bars would turn on the disco ball.
|
Episode 731: Face 2 Face: Good Face Holes
|
| Man, I wish roller coasters were slower or didn't go as high.
|
Episode 732: Museum of Grandma Promises
|
| I wish blood pressure numbers meant something to me.[2]
|
Episode 733: Congratulations on Your Powerful Trunk
|
| I love petting my dog, but sometimes I wish he would pet me back.
|
Episode 734: Twelve Volumes of Ichor
|
| I wish that Haribo gummy sour bats looked a liiiiiiiiittle less like flying penises.
|
Episode 736: School You're Allowed to Drink At
|
| I wish that Capital One CEO Rich Fairbank would play Magic: the Gathering with me!
|
Episode 737: Face 2 Face: Amble Down to Dumpster Party
|
| I wish I would have looked cool when I broke my elbow.
|
Episode 738: My Unfinished Business is Mr. Holland's Opus
|
| I wish rain would taste more fun.
|
Episode 739: Face 2 Face: Munch Squad Works For Me Now
|
| I wish I could stream Matlock with Andy Griffith without ads.
|
Episode 740: Ten Percent Kissy Face
|
| I wish my friends would all become lactose intolerant so I'm not alone.
|
Episode 741: Face 2 Face: 50-Way Pasta for Big Kisses
|
| I wish Columbo was in every detective show. Yes, I'm including House.
|
Episode 742: Vesecticon Seven
|
| I wish for Fungalore to get... Fungalore's wishes heard.[4]
|
Episode 743: Combination Taco Bell and Travis House
|
