Be advised that some of the episodes released before approximately Episode 135: TWENTY-DIRT (released January 7, 2013) may be offensive or problematic in general. The McElroy brothers regret many of the jokes made in these early episodes, and these episodes are not indicative of the people they are today.
Celebrity guests join the McElroys.
00:40 - Intro - MBMBaM: Tribute to Opulence. Alternatively, "Bringing the Bling," "Blinging the Pain," "Blinging the Noise," "Blinging the Funk," "Our Advice Blings True," "Big Momma's House," and "With This Bling I Thee Wed."
04:16 - Internet Celebrities - Hey guys, it's me, Jesse. Here's my question: so, I have a two-seat car (I mean, technically it has four seats, but functionally it's a two-seater) and my wife is expecting (we're expecting? She's the one that's gonna have the baby). Anyway, I'm wondering if it is somehow immoral for her car to be the only one that fits a baby in it, or like sexist or something. Um, what do you think, guys? -- Jesse Thorn
10:42 - Y - Sent in by Mike Santo Pietro, from Yahoo! Answers user Angel, who asks:
How Do I Bury Myself?
Alright, I've always wanted to be a tree and so does my friend. Were going to bury ourselves with seeds that we have aten and by morning we will become trees. I've done all the research and this seems the most effective way. But, how would I bury myself? I would ask my parents to help but, they don't "approve".
19:20 - Internet Celebrities -
Dave: Hello My Brother, My Brother, And Me. It's Dave and Graham here from Stop Podcasting Yourself, and in accordance with the Treaty of Versaille and the Nicene Creed we have come up with a problem for you to solve. Graham: The problem is is in the neighborhood I live in there are some raccoons (a family of them, or pack, or murder of raccoons) that are aggressive and have scared away the neighborhood cats, and the other night I went to take out my garbage, and one of the raccoons was sitting on top of the garbage, and wasn't scared by my presence at all, and I feel like I pay rent to be there and the raccoons don't, so short of... I don't want to injure the raccoons or kill them. What do I do about my raccoon problem? Dave: And side note, the real reason we're sending you this is because when the microphones aren't rolling Graham throws around the word "coon" a lot. Graham: I don't even know what that means!
-- Dave & Graham
28:15 - Formspring - Dear MBMBaM, under what circumstances would sleeping with my ex ex be a good idea?
28:50 - Formspring - Which one of you is the cute one, which one is the smart one, and which one is the bad boy?
29:12 - Formspring - Brothers, I need some serious help. The other day I was up late one night gaming, my sister comes up to me and starts flirting with me. This is when she is only wearing pajama pants and a bra (my sister is hot). She said she wanted to experiment. Help!
30:42 - Formspring - Why is it that in your opening in which you describe your podcast as an advice show for the modern era, you invariably pronounce modern as "modren."
32:01 - Formspring - How does one go about buying condoms in public?
34:01 - Y - From Yahoo! Answers user Katie, who asks:
Hey i need a really kool emo/scene name!!?
my name is katie. i need a really kool emo/scene name!!
Additional Details: Hey My Name Is Katie. I Did Have DropDeadKay But Idk. :\ And Im Struggling To Think.
40:33 - Internet Celebrities - What's up brothers three, it's me, brentalfloss. So I have my little cult of fans on the internet or whatever, and just like you guys I answer a lot of emails. Whenever I meet fans in person, inevitably one of them is all like, "Hey, remember me? I sent you an email about things!" I get enough emails at this point that the answer to the question "Remember me?" is almost always "No." So, how do you guys handle it when someone assumes you remember them but you don't? Much love, Big Bob Love Bucket. -- Brent Black
46:12 - Y - Sent in by Cal, from Yahoo! Answers user Tits Mickey, who asks:
How many men is considered a gay orgy?
i am interested to know the exact amount of men that would qualify to be a good orgy. I am experimenting and i thought that this would be fun. Please let me know? Gay rights.
53:56 - Internet Celebrities - Hello brothers, this is John Hodgman. I have a question for you: How can I be more productive in my workflow? How can I stop myself from surfing the internet and getting distracted by things out of the window or recording questions for podcasts? I will take my answer off the air. -- John Hodgman
58:48 - FY - Sent in by Cal, from Yahoo! Answers user Ashley, who asks:
How do you initiate touch on a first date if you do lazer tag?