Til Death Do Us Blart (sometimes abbreviated as Death Blart) is a film review podcast, in which the hosts repeatedly watch and discuss the movie Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. The podcast is released on American Thanksgiving every year, until the end of time. When one of the hosts, or Paulbearers, dies, they must pass the baton on to someone else.
The idea for the show comes from Tim and Guy's podcast, The Worst Idea of All Time, in which they watch and review the same film every week for a year.
Every episode ends with the iconic Paul Blart line, "Not today, Death!"[1]
Death Blart is only released once a year, but still on some occasions the boys decide that simply watching the movie is not enough, or that doing so will not be endurable. This leads to the hosts applying a so-called "twist" to their watch: this can be by adjusting the watch circumstance, the movie's language, its soundtrack, etc. Sometimes the boys seek solace in each other's company and watch it together, and sometimes they force their poor family members to take part as well.
Episode 1 (2015): The hosts deliver their product pitches at the end of the episode.
Ad Reads: The hosts take turns doing fake ad reads to entice advertisers to sponsor the show.
Tech Watch: The boys discuss the technology used by the criminals in the heist. Notably a five-screen laptop and USB dongles.
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3 Pitch: The hosts share their wishes, ideas, suggestions and predictions of what a PB3 movie would contain, as well as its subtitle.
Theme Music[]
The podcast does not have a designated song for its intro and outro, and instead uses different music for each episode.
Almost every year the boys agree on whether or not the watch was a good one (enjoyable) or a bad one (awful). They claim that despite being miles apart,[2] they seem to have the same impression of the movie.
Year
Details
Verdict
2015
Travis liked the movie the most, laughing 11 times; Justin and Tim tried to find the silver lining; and Griffin and Guy were fairly thoroughly disgusted by it. With a four-against-one, this year seems to not have been a good one.
BAD
2016
Travis enjoyed the movie even more this year, with 13 laughs. Justin was first looking forward to the movie, but only for about 15 minutes before his watch soured. Griffin wished he'd die in an earthquake during his watch. Tim did not have a good time.
BAD
2017
Everyone except for Guy enjoyed the film. This year prompted quotes such as "Great fucking movie!" — Tim Batt; "Really had a very fun time!" — Justin McElroy; "Really enjoyed it this year!" — Travis McElroy.[2]
GOOD
2018
Griffin is the only one who enjoyed the film, laughing more than he did previously.
BAD
2019
Justin expresses this was the year where he felt "I don't wanna", Travis did not laugh a single time this year. Griffin comments that they seem to have broken a "good" streak from the couple of years previously.
BAD
2020
Guy, Justin, and Griffin are in agreement that this may have been their least favorite watch so far.
BAD
2021
Travis claimed the movie "broke him real bad". Justin enjoyed it in French. Griffin saw more darkness in the world after watching the movie this year than he did previously. Guy oscillated during the movie between thoroughly enjoying it and despairing.
BAD
2022
Travis took three sittings to finish the movie and did not laugh once. Griffin felt like it was shorter this year (in a good way), Tim watched it during a stressful time and felt like he was kicking up his feet. Guy had a neutral watch, and Justin notably did not watch the movie.
GOOD
2023
Travis was very excited for this year's watch and giggled at the movie. Tim did not hate the movie and found himself laughing, Guy says he actually liked it, and Griffin announces he had a good time. The boys agree that it is a good year.
GOOD
2024
[in progress]
Watch Counter[]
As of 2024, the boys' watch count for Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is the following:
Travis: 12 (two additional as he watched the movie twice for both Episode 6 and 7)
Tim: 11 (one additional due to watching it twice for Episode 6)
Guy: 11 (one additional due to watching it twice for Episode 6)
Griffin: 10
Justin: 9 (missing one watch due to being the Mole in Episode 8)
The current watch count for Paul Blart: Mall Cop is as follows:
Tim: 2 (one additional as he watched it voluntarily in 2018)
Travis: 2 (one additional as he watched it voluntarily in 2019)
Griffin: 1
Guy: 1
Justin: 1
The Movie[]
Notable Characters[]
Paul Blart (Kevin James) — Immortal, making verbal abuse the only way to hurt him.[1] He is able to walk between the material plane and the ethereal plane where the art heist is taking place.[3] Eight-foot vertical leap.[4]
The Shadow Man (Eric Genuis) — A man intent on ruining Paul Blart's life, possibly sent by God. He appears in-person to play the piano and watch Paul Blart as he struggles against a large bird, after orchestrating Paul Blart's divorce and also the death of his mother.[1] Alternatively, it's possible that he abducted Paul's mother and merely planted a hologram of her being hit by a milk truck, since there was no visible blood on the scene and the newspaper she was picking up was left untouched.[5] Pro-life.[6] Mentioned on the IMDb Trivia page.[2]
Lane (David Henrie) — A young man shrouded in mystery. One theory is that he is a spectral prisoner/protector/artpiece of the Wynn Hotel.[1] Another theory is that he is a pickup-artist in a teen movie that's taking place in parallel with Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.[6] Another theory is that he is a planeswalker that has found himself trapped in the Wynn Hotel, and he needs Maya's help to leave.[3]
Vincent (Neal McDonough) — The worst criminal mastermind of all time. Also known as "Ocean's 14". More henchmen than ideas. Only brought one gun to his heist. Very respectful of other people's hotel bookings. Deathly allergic to oatmeal.
Erasmus, the Anti-Shadowman, here pictured to the furthest left in a screenshot from Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.
Erasmus (Unknown) — The Anti-Shadow Man.[6] Appears only in a line of background photos along with Gary Coleman, who became a security guard in his adulthood.
Saul Gundermutt (Gary Valentine, Kevin James' actual brother) — Has a bad hamstring.
Maya Blart (Raini Rodriguez) — A beacon of wholesome light in an otherwise bleak film.
Notable Scenes[]
Listed below are scenes that the hosts frequently bring up throughout the show, mostly because of how little they enjoy these moments, but also to highlight the few silver linings this very bad Paul Blart cloud has.
Generally considered "Bad" scenes[]
Blart is too stingy to tip a bell boy, but then throws away his money on craps. A voice line was added in post to say, "The fat guy ruined it."
Blart convinces a woman at the bar that she is being too sensitive about being harassed by a drunk man.
In order to regain his energy after collapsing due to low blood sugar, Blart has to lap up the drippings from a baby's ice cream cone.
Vincent delivers the line "Let's see if I bankrolled the right NSA agent."
Vincent's crew sets up in their hotel room, and one of them pulls out a laptop that reveals 5 monitors, yet he still opts for showing the heist plans on the hotel TV.
At one point Eduardo, the head of hotel security, says a two-worded line in Spanish, which the movie's subtitles describes as "[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]".
When discussing a potential move to Los Angeles, Paul Blart says "Yeah, if I want some smog on my earthquake flakes."
The head of security states very clinically that overweight people use humor to "achieve affection."
One of the men in the heist's name is Hank, which in the subtitles and the credits is clarified to be spelled "Henk".
Blart approaches the check-in counter at the hotel and yells "YELLO-HA!"
When Maya wants to spend time with Lane, Blart angrily blurts out "Chicken chow Lane?!"
Blart slutshames his daughter when she wears a perfectly fine bathing suit to the hotel pool.
Blart ends a rather rallying speech with a nonsensical shout of "FOOTLOCKER!"
When Blart realizes Vincent's crew is stealing art from the hotel, he shouts "Windershins!", a bad, nonsense word that does not mean anything.
When Blart fights the large exotic bird in the Tranquility Garden, he yells "Hefeweizen!" at it.
When Maya says "I think they're stealing art from the hotel", Lane, who works at the hotel, replies "From the what?"
Blart, who it's been established is obsessed with security and keeping his daughter safe, when his daughter tells him that she's been kidnapped, simply tells her that she's overreacting.
A small child is encouraged to hug Paul Blart to thank him, but instead slaps him in the face.
Generally considered "Good" scenes[]
Muhrtelle (Bob Clendenin), a warehouse worker, eats a banana that is so brown and old, it makes the sound of crinkling paper.
Blart punches an old housekeeper in the stomach and then offers to call for medical assistance, but she insists that it's okay and that it distracts from the pain of her arthritis.
In the hotel garden, Blart gets into a fight with a grey crowned crane while The Shadow Man plays the piano. The Shadow Man observes Paul's pleas for help but continues to play the piano in a dignified fashion. Given that Blart instigates the fight with the bird, when it simply was minding its own business, the bird can be seen as a representation of the other patrons at the hotel, and indeed, even the audience.[5]
Donna (Loni Love), another mall cop, mentions RoboCop to Paul Blart, and then asserts (twice) that he isn't real.
Mrs. Gundermutt says that when her daughter left for college, she would blast Sarah McLachlan and go into the closet to smell the sweaters she left behind.
In the opening of the movie, Blart's mother is shown being "drilled" by a milk truck when she's picking up a newspaper. In 2023, Griffin proposed that the Milk Truck moment is a good bellwether for if you're going to enjoy your watch or not: if you do not laugh as Paul Blart's mother is swiftly taken away by this dairy vehicle, you are not about to have a good time.
When being pursued by a man with a gun, Blart decides to hide in a suitcase which is branded as "bulletproof". Notably, the suitcase is punctured by bullets, but Blart emerges unharmed- once again proving that he is immortal.
Lane gives a disappointed "Aw" when Maya smashes the snow globe that he bought for her.
One of Vincent's henchmen unwraps an oatmeal cookie. Upon Vincent telling the man he is deathly allergic to oatmeal and to get rid of the cookie, the henchman opens the door to the balcony and tosses the cookie out the door.
When Blart is convinced that his daughter has been kidnapped, he calls the cops. During the conversation, one of the cops asks, "Does anyone love this guy?"
The vendors at the weapons convention have some strange line delivery. Most notably, the vendor advertising a glue foam gun: "The Big Sticky Mess- a grenade launcher that shoots gLUE FOAM!" This line is one of Griffin's all time favorites.
Khan Mubi (Shelly Desai), another mall cop, gives Blart a nice hug.
Blart Gallery[]
Poster for Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3: Garden of Contemplation, made by crayfishcoffee on Tumblr
Poster for Til Death Do Us Blart, made by Cody Forkes
"Til Death Do Us Blart" merch poster available on McElroy Merch
Almost all of the podcast's other official media use the form "Til", but the spelling "Till" appears on the website and on the email address listed on the Facebook page.
In 2018, all of the hosts seem to forget that there is an IMDb trivia entry about the Shadow Man, something they discussed in the previous episode.[3]
In 2019, all of the hosts seem to have forgotten that the co-writer for the film, Nick Bakay, was the voice of Salem in Sabrina the Teenage Witch, something they discussed in the previous episode.[3][7]
In several episodes, one of the boys reveals that Kevin James' real brother, Gary Valentine, plays a part in the movie. Each time this is mentioned, the boys act as if this is new information. At one instance, Travis responds to this trivia by saying that they might never have heard this before or that it may have been mentioned in every episode.
Mention of Death Blart in the TV show BoJack Horseman.
The show BoJackHorseman included a Death Blart reference in S04E01, when Princess Carolyn says "I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the Paul Blart 3: Till Death Do Us Blart premiere last night."
In MBMBaM Episode 249 Toyota Bigraft, the McElroys discussed the newly released Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. Unbeknownst to the brothers, they were discussing the movie they would make a life-pledge to almost exactly 6 months later, in the first episode of Death Blart.
In almost every episode, the boys discuss a scene which they cannot comprehend: Maya accidentally walks in on a man being held at gunpoint by the bad guys. The two main concerns with this scene are that it is never discussed who the man being threatened is, and that Maya simply stumbles in on this scene by taking one wrong turn while in an unoccupied suite. In Episode 1, they settle on that the hotel in fact is a four-bedroom AirBnB, which explains the weird floor plan. In Episode 3 in 2017, Travis explains his theory that several scenes were cut, including one that reveals that the man being held at gunpoint is the heist's "man on the inside" who failed to let them know about changes in hotel security plans. In Episode 5 in 2019, Travis has forgotten his own theory as he proclaims that he does not know who the man being held at gunpoint is.
